Dear NSNS:

I think the trick here might be to avoid trying to forget this person. The more we try to forget something, the more we think about it. You know how you feel when you try to force yourself to go to sleep when you have insomnia? It’s the same principle.

The tone of your question suggests you’ve been hurt – you “thought” you were in love, but maybe this person let you down so badly you can’t imagine how you could have been.

Even if this is not the case, I suggest you:

1. Indulge in new activities. Distraction works wonders in the short and long term, and before you know it, the harshest reminders of how you once felt – and the pain of being let down – will soften.

2. Don’t put too much effort into “forgetting” this person. Doing so only reinforces in your heart and mind the fact that you long for love to return. Dwelling on bittersweet memories could turn into an unhealthy, frustrating obsession.

3. Try thinking about his/her least charming aspects – the reason you decided you weren’t in love, perhaps. You can kill the temptation to sulk in bed, longing for this person’s love or attention, by reframing your relationship this way.

I hope you are successful!

Jennie