robert is checking out 43t
My life is a comedy show.
A comedy of errors.
A short time back I met this person, she was nice, I really liked her. Smart, interesting, something to say for herself. We went out a couple of times the last being Wednesday, we had a nice meal laughed a little and had a little smooch even.
Last night, I went out for a xmas piss up. I got hammered absolutely plastered. I woke this morning and said to myself oh oh . See, I called her last night and left a message on her phone. I can’t even remember what I said, my mobile tells me that the call lasted 1:06, it was 11:30pm . Jesus, a lot can be said in one minute six seconds! I know I didn’t tell her anything dumb like I love her or anything like that, cos I don’t. I just like her and thought about a little more than I should have perhaps. Its what I do, I fuck things up , I get a little too keen too soon perhaps, god knows! Dating can be hard work.
This morning, I texted her, Short and sweet I said Sorry. She texts me back, “so is she”, “take care” she says “you are not the one for me” she says, and all that other stuff about have a good life and all that. Im all bewildered, so i get all apologetic and what not, but her minds made up, she doesnt want to know me anymore. Hero to Zero in seconds. No debate, no questions, no discussion, just splat finito. Won’t even talk to me, just asks me not to contact her anymore.
So today or this morning at least, Ive been trying work out where I went wrong. It has to be the drunken call, but she wont tell me, and I cant remember. I know 100% that I wasn’t abusive in the call as that just isnt my style, I was just drunk and wanted to talk with a woman I like, what’s so bad about that I hear myself asking. What does me in is that prior to this, it really was going ok, there was a little connection, the plug was in the socket , the volts were flowing.
What really gets me, is how she can go from one mindstate to another so quickly. No 2nd chances, no ‘look Rob I don’t like drunkeness because of blah blah blah’, just bye bye, ‘please don’t call me or contact me anymore’. WTF is all that about?
God! She’s left me feeling like Im some kind of freaky lunatic or something! Some bad odour or nasty taste or stain, just waiting to be scrubbed out. I’m feeling like ive been kicked in the cobblers, Im mad at myself, pissed at myself for behaving like a drunken arse!Im trying to do the whole, ‘oh well her loss’ thing, and Im also consoling myself with the idea that anyone who can just be that brutal so quickly over something so relatively innocuous is perhaps better left to get on with it; the kicker is though I really liked her, still do even.
Yup, my life is a comedy of errors, I literally feel like Ricky out of Trailer Park Boys. Ricky has the habit of behaving like an absolute nut and getting into all sorts of crazy scenarios and just doesnt get why he ends up in them.
I am Ricky, dating sucks.