this is hardest thing i’ve ever gotten over. i’m in therapy for this and other reasons. i still believe it is my fault, despite my therapist and others reassuring me it’s not. i can’t help it. i went to an outdoor festival near his neighborhood and i kept expecting to see him. my stomach was in knots and i was hyper vigilant. i went to rite-aid in his neighborhood last night out of having to go that way anyway. while standing in line forever i kept eyeing the entrance hoping to see him and not see him. i hate this. i still believe he is the one. i always will. the thought that has allowed me to get out of bed and stop crying is the idea that not everyone ends up with the one. i may marry someone else, but i will never love someone like this again. i will never allow myself to fall so deep for anyone ever again. falling is dangerous when you’re so close to hitting the ground.
Comments:
I hope the therapy works for you, because those thoughts are so negative and self-fulfilling. It’s not true that you’re totally destroyed or that you’ll never be able to love or be loved again, but if you keep convincing yourself that, then you won’t be in a position to have a healthy relationship. I really hope that you’re able to heal and get over this, because it’s not the end of your life or your happiness and you ARE WORTH SOMETHING without him.
