43 Things

Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful. (read all 95 entries…)

06/14/2007 1 year ago

I had one sweeeet birthday.

10. Talked to Zack! Yippee!

9. The man and I have, I think, after 2+ years of being married, finally reached an agreement about the ring issue. I wear on the appropriate finger a ring he gave me, that my friend in Japan designed and made for me, for my birthday several years ago. He wears no jewelry at all and would prefer to keep it that way. We can’t afford any rings anyhow. And yet we have both thought there should be something. I think we finally settled on what that should be.

8. The asparagus has finally deigned to show itself. I spent a long, hard day getting that shit in the ground, and I was beginning to fear it would never respond to my ministrations. Finally! it has. Altogether, our garden is rocking. There are also many weeds growing in it that are edible, including two spinach relatives and one type of salsify. Yum.

7. T’s parents called me from Japan to wish me happy birthday. They have never previously done so, and they don’t usually call for T’s birthday either. I seriously doubt they will call for his birthday this year either. Anyway, it was nice of them.

6. My mom babysat the kid for us all afternoon and evening. My mom was thrilled; the kid was thrilled. We were able to see a movie (in a theater!) and have dinner (sushi!) and actual conversations that were uninterrupted by shrieks and howls and requests for me to, once again, sing “mata aeru hi made.” Wow, conversation with my husband. I had almost forgotten he was capable of speech.

5. Sushi for dinner. The sushi was pretty good, although the effect was somewhat dimmed by my husband’s commentary: “Why do Americans insist on putting avocado in sushi? Why do Americans put the nori inside the roll? This is powdered wasabi. Do Americans put the nori inside the roll so that it doesn’t stick to their teeth? Americans are really obsessed with their teeth. This soy sauce tastes strange.” And so forth.

4. My husband totally didn’t think I was insane when I launched into my theory of Japan and Japanese people. It was less pretentious than it sounds there. Indeed, he agreed with me and apparently came to the sudden realization that I had actually learned something during my three years there. He denied, however, that he would be completely miserable if we returned there as he contends that he didn’t care at all what other people thought of him when he lived there before, so why would he start now? He has a point.

3. A movie!! In a movie theater!! With the most excellent eye candy, George Clooney, even. How can he be so delightful and lovely and utterly perfect? How is such a person possible? Yes, the movie was Ocean’s 13, which is stylish and utterly without substance. It was fun, but I was really there for George. My husband, less impressed with George Clooney than I am for reasons that are understandable, found the movie baffling in its vapidity. I think if he were bisexual, he might have liked it better.

2. The long conversations with my husband today have demonstrated that I have not forgotten quite as much Japanese as I thought I had. It’s still there – at least, the grammar is. I forgot some key vocabulary items, but I can still use all the various types of conditionals appropriately. Sweet. I so totally rule.

1. The kid scrambled into bed with me this morning, sprawled himself out over my torso, and said, “I love you, mama.” That’s the best – that’s the absolute best thing ever.

Jun 15, 2007, 01:44AM PDT | 1 cheer

Comments:

TygerTyger

Silence

My husband is laconic to say the least. He would prefer to communicate via facial expressions and gestures whenever possible. He thinks I should just know what he’s thinking since we’re married. So, it’s safe to say that I initiate most of the conversations – and do most of the conversing.

When we moved here, I switched to mostly talking to him in English to help him learn English. Before that, for the first couple of years we had been dating and living together, we spoke only Japanese all the time. I have found, though, that he no longer needs the help learning English, and yet I have been too lazy (or “helpful” if you wish) to switch back to Japanese. I want to keep the Japanese I learned, so I need to start using it again, but it’s so much easier to speak English, especially now that he understands. He never speaks English to me though and never has. I only know he can speak English because he has a job at which he must, and he speaks English to my parents when he speaks, which is rare.

Jun 16, 2007, 10:21PM PDT | Parent | Respond to this

jrfiction breathes deeply

So I'm not alone.

My wife once said to me that she won’t be happy until I know exactly what she wants without words.

We have only ever spoken Japanese to each other, and while this is good for my Japanese it bothers me just a little that she has very little interest in learning English. When we move to Australia in the new year I wonder how things will change, access to free classes in English will help, but I doubt we will speak anything but Japanese at home.

Jun 17, 2007, 06:31AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

TygerTyger

Yes

My husband thinks the same thing. I’m trying to understand more, and he’s trying to be more verbally clear. You know, because of this we have these conversations that go on for weeks at a time. Anytime we’re trying to make some kind of important decision, we start one day, laying a foundation. Then my husband says something typically cryptic and brief, and I have to think about what he meant for a while. The next day I respond to what he said, and he gives me another little tidbit to gnaw on. And so forth. It used to frustrate me mightily, but I’ve grown used to it now.

I was actually talking to my husband about you and your wife the other day, because you had mentioned that she doesn’t learn English but that you’re moving to Australia, and he had been the same way. He didn’t learn English at all while we were in Japan. He had a shock when we came here, and he thought it would be much worse for your wife, since he figured she would likely have to use it more than he did(we lived with my parents for a long time, and I did not work since I had just had a baby, so I took care of all the immigration paperwork and so forth for him). I’m guessing she thinks that you will similarly insulate her, but the extent that you are able and willing to remains to be seen.

Jun 17, 2007, 11:37PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

jrfiction breathes deeply

Insulation.

She is hoping that I shield her, and has said that she doesn’t mind not making any friends.

It is going to be interesting for sure, I don’t want to be too much of a crutch for her, and I will encourage her to work things out for herself.

My Australian friends and family are not shy, so they will probably talk her to the point of caving in and using some of that hard earned highschool English.

I think it will be more a the case that I will be unable to insulate her too much. I realise that our home will Japanese on the inside but for my son and I it will be English between us and always English outside. She doesn’t like to be left out.

Putting too much pressure on her to do anything about it will just be counter productive, so I`ll probably sit back and let things take their course. You can drag a horse to water…

Jun 19, 2007, 08:16AM PDT | Respond to this

Comments:

Silence

So I'm not alone.

Yes

Insulation.

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