there are so many things making me happy I don’t know where to start. I’m calming down a bit now that I am at work (this office numbs my soul out) but an hour ago I was dancing on air. A ~ten year old kid stopped me as I walked through the rotunda. I thought it was to ask a question cause I’m an employee. But no… “You look familiar. [thoughtful pause] You look like my MOM.” Not even that phased me. I said “I hope your mom is young!” He replied “she IS!” and I just laughed.

I am wrapped in a lovely shawl I got for 4 dollars while bargain hunting with a dear friend last weekend. A lady at the doctor’s office complimented the haircut I got last night that I was still feeling a little uncertain about. The doctor told me he no longer thinks I need to consider a second surgery to fix my tendon as long as I keep strengthening my feet. The sun is bright and the fall leaves are exploding across my neighborhood. I am leaving on vacation to Europe tomorrow. I drafted my essays for the teaching application last night and I’m feeling confident that I will have something good to submit before I leave. And all these good vibes before I even had my coffee. This is Very Good.

I noticed a thought in my head saying “I can glimpse my future and I like where it is going” and those kinds of thoughts don’t live in my brain that often. A scared little part of me wants to ascribe all this attitude to the St John’s Wort I started taking last week… and another part says so what if that is the case? I’m torn because I feel like it’s cheating for me to be happy without having chopped out the roots of what makes me scared and sad, but it feels so nice to feel happy today. Is it a real happiness? I’ll try to just let it be what it is and enjoy today.