think it`s spooky, but I don`t find it freeing either. I`ve been thinking a lot about that, I certainly think it`s true. The guy I was dating last summer for instance, told me that since I seemed so sure I wanted to be with him, he was free to focus all on his own doubts, he didn`t have to work to convince me to like him. Which gave him all the power basically.
The problem is, I can`t stop being invested in something, even when I think I should. I just really like this guy, and really want it to work out. I can pretend I`m not that invested in the whole thing, contact him less often and so on, to give him the impression that I`m not that invested in it. which might make him decide to work a bit harder to keep me around, and even out the balance. But I`m just not good with those sort of games. Sigh.

I suppose it depends on which person you end up being in any relationship where there is someone with significantly less investment. I can see that idea as freeing if it allows a person to disengage if they are being ill treated as a result of the power differential. But I guess I found it spooky because I can see how a person who is prone to being less invested in relationships than others could be very manipulative based on that power differential. I am basing this on some past relationships I have had. I can think of times when I was on both ends of that stick. It is hard to have relationships where there is an utterly perfect balance of power all the time, but I find that relationships whether friendships or with partners have to strive to keep close to a healthy power balance and certainly the amount of value and interest a person places on a relationship matters immensely in that equation.