Post random UPs, random DOWNs & random INBETWEEN's * (read all 15 entries…)
Downs. 18 months ago

Early this morning we got a phone call to say my husband’s dad B had collapsed.
I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
My sweetheart has had to leave, facing a 4 hour drive to get down to see what is happening.
He’s driving down to face …what ?
I hope he see’s him before ???
Im scared he wont get there in time, Im petrified of him driving under such circumstances.
B had a brain bleed earlier this year .

I have sat now 3 hours doing nothing.
I need to get my shit together & pick J up from school.
He will be full of questions & sympathy.

I have told no-one what has happened yet now Im here,
telling strangers.
Is that pathetic ?

I cant really deal with B being so ill, we were told to expect the worst.
The worst is death, pain, being alone …. is this what I am bracing myself for ?



Comments:

I know...

...sometimes I post sort of sporadically, as was the case this week. : (

I was, however, very happy to learn that you’re healing following your loss. We all missed YOUR posts while you were away.

: )

Im pleased to hear

its just sporadic posting and not because of anything gloomy;upsets, illness etc .

Im doing ok, some days are rougher than others.
However I have no regrets in my relationship with Brian, we had a great friendship.
I know from experience this always helps me cope better.
Sadness, whilst it comes in waves is an understandable emotion at times like these, my anger is subsiding too,letting me be more in the moment with it.

How nice to say I was missed,
thankyou : )
x


 

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