Xiubami is frustrated

post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :) (read all 56 entries…)
Name change 16 months ago

Women if you are or will get married have/do you change your last name?

or if you are a man would you expect her to change her name?

The reason I ask is I have been working in a somewhat political field and begun to build my reputation and I am afraid if I change my name it will be confusing—(that’s not the right word but you know what I mean) Plus I really like my last name, my first name is confusing enough and his last name is confusing also, his last name makes my initials ridiculous. Any thoughts?



Comments:

Maxime is back, for now!

Why changing the name?

Here, a married woman always keeps her last name and doesn’t have to take the man’s name.

I don’t really have an opinion on the subject, since I really don’t know why women should do this. I used to think it was discriminatory for the woman to have to give up on her real name, but it looks like a lot of women prefer to have their husband’s name.

So, I’m really wondering why to do this and if someone can tell me, I’d be pleased.

Enore is

OH, well, Max...

I can help you here.

See, in a civilized society men own their women, so the women take their husband’s name to indicate which herd they belong to.

Maxime is back, for now!

I see...

So, in a civilized society, a woman is like a pet that belongs to its master?

How fabulous…...

Enore is

Yeah, that's right.

And she has to do what you tell her and stuff.

(This comment was deleted.)

Jessy loves a clean slate and a fresh start. Happy 2010!

I can think of one practical reason

for a couple to share the same last name:

If they have kids, the kids will probably be “hypenated,” i.e. Emily Smith-Jones. Fine, no problem.

Little Emily grows up and marries Jared Carter-Wombat.

They each keep their names. Fine.

When their child Katerina is born, what is her name? Katerina Smith-Jones-Carter-Wombat? And do we need to invent a super-hyphen to go between the Jones and the Carter?

Many say just give the child the father’s last name, but what’s fair about that? It’s the mother’s child, too.

Personally, I’d rather change my name and let the kids have the “family name” that to have a child that did not share my last name.

Maxime is back, for now!

You’d rather change your name instead of giving the child only the name of his/her father?

It’s been the case for decades here, and we never had any problems. If my parents had given me their full names, I’d have 4 last names like in the example you have mentionned. I only have one because my parents knew it would be too long, so I only kept the name of my paternal grandfather. They chose one this way.

My aunt, who was born and lived the most of her life in France, had taken the name of her first husband. When she arrived in Quebec, she was a Mauris on half of her papers, and a Schneider on half the others. She had so much trouble having a health care card, and a driver license and all her immigration papers because she had two different names. For the government, it’s been like if two different persons had been trying to do the same thing at once. And she said it herself, she should really have kept her real name, it would have been much less trouble. She had to go to the hospital once and showed her card, on which it was written Mauris (her husband’s name). The receptionnist took it to check into the systems and couldn’t find a Mauris. It happened she was in the system on her real name. It made such a mess because she had to pay for her visit into the hospital that day, since she wasn’t “registered”.

Getting back to the child’s name thing. Today, parents have the choice to either give the child his/her father’s or mother’s name, or even both of them. In all cases though, children usually end up using only one of their last names, the first one, and if they have children, they give them this first last name (getting confusing here… lol!) It’s like a priority order or something…

Jessy loves a clean slate and a fresh start. Happy 2010!

Yes, I agree

that it’s really better for kids to just have one last name.

Here, in the Southern U.S., we are pretty traditional, and most young women who marry take their husband’s last name. I say young women, because older women are more likely to have established a professional reputation and to want to keep their names, even if it’s the name of someone they have divorced.

The one couple I can think of who kept their names gave their kids her name as a middle name and his as a last. That way, the kids had both names, but did not have the burden of hyphenation at such a young age.

Maxime is back, for now!

Yeah, I get that it’s mostly a tradition thing. I think it used to work this way too, here, a few centuries ago. Honestly, it always looks so odd to me when a woman insists that she takes her husband’s name. I thought that they would have fought against it, like for the right to keep their names. I’m surprised to see how many women actually want to change their name!

We don’t have middle names here either, so giving one of the last names as the child’s middle name is not a possibility. ;) We never had any problems of having too many last names or anything, I’m not sure how I could explain it though, but it has always been okay!


 

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