I do understand, to the best of my ability, I understand, and I feel for you. I’m sorry you’ve had this challenge, but like we quote on this goal so often:

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

This verse is obviously talking about sin, but here Paul is also referring to TRIALS, PROBLEMS, PAIN of ANY kind. What you’re going through, God allowed you to go through because He knows you can handle it. He knows you will make it. If He didn’t know you could handle it, He wouldn’t give it to you. Another scripture reads:

"7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
10 Thou art not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job.
11 And they who do charge thee with transgression, their hope shall be blasted, and their prospects shall melt away as the hoar frost melteth before the burning rays of the rising sun;"

Endure it well, 2cimanp, and you will be blessed. God be with you.

your brother in Christ,
psmithut