why is it that the things i want to do are always the things i am convinced i need to do, while the things i need to do are never the things i want to do?
Ready for two strange pieces of advice
Here’s what I thought when I read your post – it probably sounds totally wacky – but the Internet is good at wacky:
A good friend recommended a cheesy book to me called “Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui” when I said something similar about having all the wrong stuff filling up my life. I am so not into this sort of thing – but the basic message rang true: “if you want new things to come into your life, you have to have room for new things”. That might mean getting rid of old things. I can’t think of a cheesier book that changed my outlook on life. I now try and think about objects, events and relationships and consider “does this give me energy or take away energy” and prune accordingly.
OK – even cornier. I have a really hard time “playing”. This has not been a problem until I became a father. Before I had a child asking me to play – I could be serious and focus on getting things done (which meant no fun). When it came time to play, I always felt like I didn’t have the means. I was too busy, too serious, but honestly, it was too hard. I just couldn’t “play” even though this is the best way to be with a 2-3 year old. Playing forced me to be so present and in the moment, that I wanted to hide in being busy and preoccupied. This problem sent me searching for a solution, and in some book I read about how when you are stuck in your head and having a hard time changing your behaviour – the key is to change your physical position – move!
I still feel the “I can’t do it” dread when it comes time to play – and get committed to being present (and not in my head) but by getting on the ground, or dancing silly, or just someway of moving – my outlook shifts and my mind relaxes. I try to do this now when I start getting into dumb arguments or feel my habits kicking in that keep new things at bay. Moving around shakes me loose. If old habits hold you back – use movement to get you away from old habits.
I can’t believe what a new age geek I sound like.
There it is. The world’s longest comment saying:
1. get the crap out,
2. move around a bit
Change your stuff, change your position, change your life.
Advice Column Worthy!
Josh, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with me. This is seriously great advice. One of my best friends recommended a similar (or perhaps even the same! I have to confirm) book to me last summer saying it had made such a huge difference in his environment and attitude. I have been thinking for some time that I really do have too much “stuff”. Whenever I do clean up and minimize, I do feel far more focused and free, so I think that’s exactly what I’m going to need to do throughout my space. I plan to devote some time to that over the holidays.
On your second point-
giving yourself time and permission to play-I wholeheartedly agree. Unfortunately, I think I will have to put a different spin on this one and just remind myself to regularly release extra energy through excercise since, in all honesty, I do a little too much playing and a lot less working than I really should.
I enjoy hearing the things that have influenced you and improved your state of mind. Your new age geekdom is admired and welcome. :) Thanks!