Yo, yo, yo, this is Henndawg bringin’ it back to da old skool. Let’s do it for Jamaica and South Africa in the Nine-Eight. You suckazzzzz

When I write the rhymes, the whole planet goes insane
ILoveMe wants sex with me, literally
But, yo, I abstain
Don’t complain when there’s pain in ya membrane
I run it across quicker than a grater in Spain

Commitin’ murder like Nero while I chow on a gyro
Add on some zeroes, switch the gyro for a hero
Advancing up the tier-oh my god I can’t believe
Gonzaga’s in the rear

And I piss in my pants like Tilt-A-Whirl
Ape, monkey, Cadillac, grey-tailed squirrel
Dreamin’ ‘bout Will Smith in Men in Black 3
“They didn’t make that yet”? Yeah? Wait an’ see

Doin’ stream-of-conciousness shit like James Joyce
Lloyal’s no car or job, no reasons to rejoice
Oh my god, I said a word twoyce
Tom Brokaw knows I’m twice noyce

I love war, I think it’s outta sight
Droppin’ H-bombs is hella tight
I’ll blow up Big Ben, a new memorial site
Innocent bystanders are my delight!

CHORUS:
I’m the laser to your toner
My Blackberry’s password is MadPropertyOwner
When I sip a glass of Bacardi
I accidentally make out with Vince Lombardi
I’m the oil, you’re acrylic
I love toddlers, but I’m not pedophillic
Mustaches! Car crashes! Kittens aren’t that cute!
Eat Chinese food at the New Years bashes!

Yo, yo, yo…

Mustache rides go for fiddy cents
In British terms that’s a pound and twenty pence
I hope this lasts, I can’t stand the suspense
(Sample of Alton Brown: “Leave it on the stove for a while so it can condense”)

Don’t mock me ‘cuz I got tape on my face
It could happen to you if you’re in outer space
I got paid a million bucks for that by the Tate
Girls pay thousands for me to masturbate

Don’t go to the bathroom for less than a Beemer
Sellin’ tickets to yo’ head like Catherine Keener
I spit in your hair, so pay me 50 thousand
My favorite truck is covered in cow skin

I’ll punch the cheetah in the face if he looks it me wrong
Invest capital into the Beat The Cheetah fund
Underwater sea voyage, hot dog buns
Enlighten Frankenstein, teach ‘em how to have fun

CHORUS:
I’m the laser to your toner
My Blackberry’s password is MadPropertyOwner
When I sip a glass of Bacardi
I accidentally make out with Vince Lombardi
I’m the oil, you’re acrylic
I love toddlers, but I’m not pedophillic
Mustaches! Car crashes! Puppies are the shit!
Eat Chinese food at the New Years bashes!