catherine's daughter Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you ......

Share my thoughts on grief (read all 17 entries…)
This was a comment on Facebook

When we don’t speak of those we love who have died, only then have they truly died.



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catherine's daughter Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you ......

I am so sorry to hear how much tragedy you have had in your life. How you stay positive and are functioning is truly amazing. I am sure your children must be a great source of strength for you.

Sometimes I want to say poor, poor me and give up. Life has presented many challenges for me. My parents were both deaf, so I grew up in an non-conventional way. My parents were hard working, loving,and good parents. The only problem is my sister and I had to learn things about life and to prepare for it on our own, there was little guidance in that respect. My mother was always sickly and died at the young age of 51 and my dad five years later at 62. By today’s standards I married young, shorty after my mother died; I was vulnerable and naive! My marriage lasted a short time and I found myself, at the age of 25, raising two sons on my own. There was no child support and I had no career! When Paul, my oldest, was diagnosed a diabetic, he was just 5 years old. So began many years more of struggle to keep my son as healthy as I could. Many times the priority was food on the table and the rent late! Years later, I thought that the struggle was easing and things were going fairly well even though Paul did suffer greatly with gastro parisis and other health problems when at the age of 31, Paul had a massive heart attack and died. My world changed forever!! Please know that he was not a model patient he took risks knowing they could be fatal, living life without taking care of himself.

Today I am struggling making ends meet and trying to keep my head above water. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever afford to retire, which is a few years away.Now, it is not all gloom and doom, I do have a lovely condo, which my sister helped me to acquire. So things could definitely be worse. I just am tired and want to not work so much or hard! I want more for my other son who had been out of work for two years. Our country is failing miserably in a poor economy and that worries me! I hope things will turn around; for the USA it will take some time and I hope it won’t be long until my son finds a job so he does not lose his home!!

So waa, waa me!! Sorry to be so long winded!! Time to get off my pity pot because I see I am not alone in struggle and grief! As we have picked up from you wonderful people “no worries”!!! At least I will try not to!!!


 

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