So, tomorrow is 4 weeks!
Today I felt good again, but now I know how it goes. A day or two I feel great, I have hopes that those are the first symptoms of my healing progress and everything, and then it hits me hard. I begin to have doubts, I start having dark thoughts… I hate these oscillations.

Yesterday during night I had a dream which had a homoerotic finale, but this time I wasn’t too upset about it. Yeah, I saw it and yes I was a little bit shaken by it because this is my wound but I didn’t enjoy it, I wasn’t inspired to do something stupid and it wasn’t in highlight of my day.
Also, today after training I was more relaxed around other guys. I realized that they do look strong and attractive, but that’s the way it should be and this doesn’t threaten me at all.
So, from now on, I’m really giving my best not to worry about that anymore. But what should I do about self-esteem towards girls? Will I ever feel ready to try sharing the kindest love with the one?