I know this feeling. First, you deserve sooooo much better than that. Any human being does! You don’t deserve to be shouted at for just trying to gain clarity about where you and he stand with all the mixed message going on.

Therapy was hugely helpful to me in even recognizing I was selling myself too short and not giving myself enough credit… There is nothing about her that is “better”... there is nothing about you that is not “good enough”... it’s him.

You know what helped me a lot? I wrote up a description of who my dream partner would be. It actually took me a couple of days because I found there were things I wanted that weren’t so apparent to me at first. When I read it, I realized that “he” fell so incredibly far short of the mark I knew I’d never be happy, and always be wondering for the rest of my life if there was someone else and if I was good enough… now I realize… he wasn’t good enough for me! And it’s not an ego thing! He really just didn’t deserve all I had to give to him because he could not reciprocate! You deserve the same amount of devotion in return!

Good luck today at therapy. Try to feel good… just know that this feeling you feel now will be gone eventually. The thought of him will conjure no emotion one day.

Sending you peace.