I really do need cuter yoga clothes. For teaching. This pushes my buttons in the worst way.

You know, I realized on my last trip to the mall why I don’t like shopping. It activates all these deep longings in me. For someone who doesn’t like shopping, it may be strange that I have recurring dreams about shopping. In them, I’m always finding the most beautiful clothes that look awesome on me. Then again, that probably isn’t strange at all. The two are probably directly related; in fact they’re probably the same thing. Deep down inside, I still want to be someone I’m not… and I’m attracted and repelled by that at the same time. And honestly, growing up, I never had the “right” clothes, and that hurt me. People tell me now they love my style, but I never fully got over that,I think.

Anyway, I hate to spend money on clothes because I don’t have that much of it and clothes are so expensive. I usually get them cheaper at thrift stores or Ross or the like. But for yoga clothes, there’s a look here. To some degree, you can’t cut corners in the same way. There are certain brands that have a certain weight. I hate it, but it’s true. It’s part of looking the part.

I suppose I will resolve this issue in the end, one way or another.