I think that perhaps more than regretting what I did with alcohol, I regret what I didn’t do because of it.
Don’t get me wrong – I’ve done plenty of stupid things drunk which I’ll regret for the rest of my life, but what I’ve been thinking about recently are all the things I might have done had I not been drinking.
My list is endless and there’s no real point in sharing my particular list but we all have our own ambitions, dreams and goals. Alcohol distracts us from these and makes us live more mediocre lives at best or completely ruins our lives at worst.
But there’s no point in crying over spilt milk. I still have dreams and ambitions and they’re growing fast the longer I’m away from the bottle. I’m trying to focus on those ambitions and I’m constantly reminding myself that I’ll never achieve them if I’m drinking. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’d be in the gutter, it just means I wouldn’t be doing what I want. Alcohol stops me doing what I want. It removes my freedom.
I now compare missing alcohol to missing an abusive partner. There’s no point in going back to him/her because you know you’ll just be treated the same way again sooner or later.
Time to get back to those ambitions with my new-found freedom…