and it’s all been very lovely and sophisticated and controlled and normal until last night :(. I had almost convinced myself that I’m a “normal” drinker until last night. The last time I had a bash at this goal I lasted 2 months BUT the problem was that I wasn’t happy, I found it really hard and I had no support from my family or my friends as no one else thinks I have a problem, in fact they all get cross with me for not drinking. They don’t see how I feel the next day, like today, when I just want to curl up and die rather than face the world as I have to later today. They will all just see me as they always do not realising how much I hate myself and how anxious I feel. I feel so alone right now it hurts to the core. I have to give this another go, nothing is worth feeling like this.
Comments:
chani35 is winning the war against the cigarette
Ela...!
Here you are not alone, as Rich puts it :) Well… you shouldn’t care what everyone else thinks – you do know that drinking is a problem for you, hun? That’s the only thing that matters. You know that the happiness of getting sober doesn’t just pop out over night – you’ve been there – you know it takes time. Months. You remember how we started this together; I was slipping and you were doing SO good, and you were really happy at that time. Then you had this weird idea about ‘drinking normally’ or that you could ‘control’... I guess I stopped slipping when I definetely gave up those ideas, just accepted that I never would be drinking just one or two. Or maybe for one week, two weeks… and then I would slip really badly. Alcohol just isn’t an option anymore and people can just think what they want. Stop the shit now – the only way to get rid of the anxiety. And hey, one day at the time. Yes you can ;)
