It turned into a competition between us. My mom couldn’t just be happy in the grandmother role of spoiling the kids a day or two then send them home. It was mostly materialistic in nature rather the spiritual, however. She spent a lot of her time buying things for my daughter and stepdaughter that she knew we didn’t have the budget for or had decided not to purchase for other reasons. It was always with the excuse that she knew money was tight and she could afford it so we really shouldn’t complain. She had her opinions and I had mine. She criticized our choices in allowing my daughter to do swim competition as well as soccer. She felt these weren’t very feminine pursuits. She thought that dance and tennis were more fitting. She paid for the baton lessons after signing my daughter up without my knowledge but as long as Rachel wanted to do it, I didn’t mind. I put my foot down on the tennis lessons and piano when it turned out to be just what my mother wanted and not my daughter.
The kids spent days at a time at my parents during the summer in town rather then be trapped on the farm. It was her idea to keep Rachel rather then have her watched after by a strange sitter. Originally, she had quit working to help my brother care for his daughter brcause he had sole custody and was on the road a lot. The situation went on until it got back to me that my mother was telling people she couldn’t go back to work because she was always saddled with the kids all the time and didn’t know what would happen if she wasn’t there for them. What would happen? I had to find a daycare/preschool for my daughter while I was at work. My brother had his daughter in daycare as well. Eventually, the kids started school which was a good thing. Without the grandkids to care for, my mom returned to work part time which probably made everyone much happier.