K~ it’s okay for you to tell him how you feel and if that makes him feel guilty, so be it. Your feelings are in the mix and deserve consideration. Start taking time for yourself. Do the things you love that don’t need him. Renew.

From my past experiences in life, I would say you have to quit trying. You can’t force it. Saying you’ll stay no matter what, that you’ll be the one who keeps fixing things, only leads you to further misery. He has to own things in this too; he needs to want to fix it as well. He needs to be involved.

Lastly, I would say your roles in your marriage are currently at odds, that you should pick a single role for a while and be that only. Be the wife and only the wife; be angry, hurt and outraged. Or be the friend and only the friend; be calm and helpful. I vote for the wife. Get mad and make him think about what his life would be like without you in it. What’s the worst that can happen? That he still leaves. You’re already worried about that and you’re unhappy and feeling undervalued. At least this way, you aren’t letting him dictate the way you live your life.

Hugs.