I’m terrified.

But most of the time, I just go with what’s worked. That is, that I start to talk and trust that I’m not going to get slammed.

People say I’m outgoing, friendly, at ease, and can talk to anyone. I say I can only do that because I don’t think about it. If I think about it, I get deathly shy, introverted, nervous, and want to hide.

When I started in the book business, i was scared to death of waiting on people. I found that I could talk about books and two really startling things would happen: 1) people would listen and 2) people would BUY books that I recommended.

Books have always been my magic token.

So, my suggestion would be to find what you love and learn to talk to others about that. After that, it gets easier to talk to others about almost anything.

But inside? If I think about it? I have no idea why anyone would listen to anything I have to say or even want to give me the time of day. And if I let myself go there, I’ll freeze.

So, I next to never let myself go there anymore. I start and trust that it’s almost always okay, so it’s probably okay now. And I guess it works. I know a lot of people. I’m friends with a lot of very accomplished people.

The other big “secret” I can tell you is to not fake it. People know. I don’t mean faking being brave…I mean don’t fake what you’re talking about. Don’t say you love something if you don’t know anything about it, etc. People can “feel” that and will shy away from you. People say I’m “real” and “honest” and I don’t know if that’s true, or not, but I’ve found that it doesn’t work to say you love a movie you haven’t seen, or… eventually it catches up with you.

So, I’m a weirdo. I read old sf and am surrounded by people who produce and read new sf. I read romances, next to no one around me does. I don’t watch movies or TV. I don’t play most video games. I don’t read blogs. In short, I don’t do most media stuff, and I have worked in media for years.

I LISTEN and respond and act like I care when I can. I try and find something that I can learn/is worthwhile in everyone I talk to, and I don’t lie by ommission or inference if I can help it.

But if I let myself think about it? I’m scared to death just like you.

Judith

P.S. The answer to your question is yes and no. Yes it gets easier. No, it doesn’t go away entirely. Sorry…I didn’t mean to go all around the question and not answer it!