I want someone to touch the Soul of Me, my heart, my love. Not just the sexuality of who I am.
I want tremendous amounts of affection. Romance, hugs, touching, holding hands, kissing that all is more important to me then sex. It enhances any and every single sexual act.
I love the Sensual , erotic, kinky, freaky side to me. I love that I cam interested in so many things and that I am willing to experiment. I have to have the Emotional tender side to me wanted.

There is a balance of harmony in me concerning these two parts. When I was younger I thought they were diametrical.
So I created it more and more, the separation of emotion and love from sexuality and release. It serves it’s purpose, can be done and is even fulfilling. However, there was a missing piece that was unsatisfying. I was never completely satisfied.

As I got older became a little more aware and accepting of my needs physically. I started to wonder / know that the two were not diametrically opposed but rather symbiotic in nature.
I Need both to be satisfied. With lots of tender, gentle love making, being touched often, emotional affection as well as physical {but no freaky kinky things} I was not satisfied. There was a missing piece to my puzzle.
So the two sides merge for fulfilment and complete satisfaction.
The freaky, erotic, touches the loving soft: This would be my perfection.
Romance, affection {emotional – physical} attention, time {which I believe is the greatest gift you can give me} exploration, nasty, dirty toy filled moments. All of it encompasses who I am , who and what I NEED. A spirit who not only can but will match my furiosity and passion one minute and fall with me into the tender nearly sublime the next.
Respect of my emotions and feelings, safety in my physical needs, to know that I am the only one {no lies} and that me being who I am is simply enough.
I don’t {can’t} have just one part of me desired {I will test that}. if only one part is desired, the rest of who I am will start to grieve and the yearning begins.

I then will go find someone to satisfy that . I hate to admit that I am this way {not really, I just don’t think I will explain it well}.
First marriage {commitment of any kind} is sacred to me. Being in a committed relationship I will not just seek someone outside of the commitment. I don’t commit easily for this reason.
I’m not afraid, I love being monogamous. I can and am a very loyal faithful women.
If there is no commitment and it’s understood that there is not, by all the person’s involved. When a part of me is not wanted I will seek someone to satisfy that. In my past I have had more than one person I was talking to {seeing} {gasp, What!} the one who I talked to, had deep meaningful intelligent conversations with. The one who was the kinky ass who would do crazy things with me and the one who made love touched my tenderness. This way all parts and pieces of who I was had a touch of satisfaction with out me forcing all of me on just one person.. This probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me.. Sigh…...

I don’t want that anymore.. I don’t want three men in order for me to feel like all of me is getting the affection I need and want. I want that one person who will match my intensity.. I don’t want to seperate the parts of me again. I want each side to be just as important to him as he is to me…
Wouldn’t it just be wonderful if I were normal.