For a long time I’ve questioned whether or not I really loved my last boyfriend. He was my first (and only so far) serious boyfriend, so questioning this means questioning whether or not I’ve ever fallen in love.

Today, I was gathering some books to sell and I found an old note inside one of the books. It’s a check list of stuff I had written out for him to do. He has all the items checked off and at the bottom of the note, in big enthusiastic handwriting, he has I Love You!! written. The moment I saw that note, I knew that I really had loved him. And now, it puts that relationship in a better perspective. It ended amicably, but by the time it ended I had been unhappy (and out of love with him) for quite some time. When I think back to my time with him, I look back to those times. Now, looking at this note, I remember when we first met and how crazy in love we were. Those are the times I’d rather remember—the way I felt when he held my hand, the weekends at his parents’lake house, the way he would drive up to visit me at school almost every weekend, etc. Loving me, he made me feel special and important, and that’s a nice feeling.