I have broken my pain threshold, ages ago. Life has mentally destroyed me. That’s why I turned to this.
Tried. I didn’t realise before I had loved ones who actually cared. I myself (not labelling anyone else) seemed to self absorbed in my own pain to realise that my loved ones who i thought didn’t care- did. And it destroyed them to see me like it.
But again i was too self absorbed to know. I tried and failed. I’d never say never on this again, but I didn’t stop too long to think. Even though at the time I thought i had thought it all out.
I’m still alone. Nobody to turn to. But.. I’m just trying to give life the two fingered salute by carrying on living.
I harm myself still. In many ways. It helps direct pain somewhere else, but it’s not totally reliable and i am kind of ashamed.
I’m not the kind of person to judge, so I really wouldn’t mind helping people who feel this is there only way out. It may not be.