A former colleague recently sent me a photo of herself and her husband, and their alpacas. The photo is lovely. It shows the couple in the foreground, standing in front of a split log fence, with several animals in the middle ground behind them. Completing the picture is the open green and blue and white of New Zealand, filling up the background like a postcard from God.

I’m jealous.

When my friend had first told me of her plans to move to NZ and start, with her husband, an Alpaca farm, I was too ignorant to be incredulous. I found that I had to hit up Google for some knowledge before I could react in the manner she had expected, namely, shock and doubt.

However, she sat down with me and gave me several links to resources and explained what they had in mind, and now, a year later they’re actually doing it. They’ve got the farm and are slowly beginning to turn a profit, but more than that, they are enjoying the hell out of themselves, their lives, and each other.

Now, I know myself, and I’m not a farmboy. It’s too much like real work and I find that I’m mildly allergic to anything resembling heavy labor. However, I do think that this may be a great short-term, low-cost, low-risk investment.

The basic premise is that one buys an animal, pays to have it stabled and cared for and sheared twice a year. The hair is then collected for use in paintbrushes, coats, boots, etc. etc. Once the costs have been re-couped by the stable, profits are forwarded on to you. Bearing in mind that these profits may only run around a hundred dollars per year per animal, one can see why this may not be the best investment for everyone.

At the same time, it is a reasonably environmentally friendly way of earning a buck or two for minimal effort, just a bit of cash up front.

Of course, more honestly, and more personally, I just want one for the cocktail chatter. “My investments? Well, I’ve just funded my fourth Alpaca down in New Zealand and I expect them to be earning out any time now…” etc. etc.

Unfortunately, my wife knows this and thus, the title for this entry.