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trust my boyfriend again
Am I dumb or just gullible?

I hope i can get this story out and have it make some sense…
I started dating Jerry in December…just before i left my husband. I didn’t leave my husband for him, it was just kind of bad timing. Anyway, I moved in with him. He had a girlfriend that he had been trying to get to move out of his house and she caught us together one evening so that’s how she left. She moved out and Imoved in. It was pretty shitty the way it all happened. They had been together for 11 years. I shouldn’t have moved right in with him like that, but I kinda didn’t have anywhere else to go and he told me that he loved me. We were great friends and turned out to be wonderful lovers. Anyway…he tells me that he doesn’t miss her at all and I tell him the same about my husband…because it’s true. I fell head over heels in love with Jerry. I love everything about him. We live together for a few months and everything is wonderful. Then, something changes in him. He gets really moody and starts taking secret phone calls from someone. I’m pretty sure I know it’s his ex. I try to break up with him but he doesn’tlet me. So I stay. In April, we are supposed to go on a vacation together with his best friend and his wife. less than a week before we are supposed to leave, he moves out of his house and tells me that i need to get my things out, that he has had some sort of break down. I was devistated! I moved out in less than a day. Packed up all my shit and left, planning on never speaking to him again. I went to stay with my mom and dad for a while and figure out what i was gonna do. He started calling like 2 days later. I refused to answer the phone. What was I supposed to say? Well, I got to be really good friends with the best friend and his wife that week. They couldn’t believe he had done such a thing. Everyone we knew said that I was the best thing to ever happen to him. That his ex was nothing but a horrible bitch and he hated her. I told them that Iknew he had gone to be with her. No one wanted to believe me, but in the end that’s exactly where he was. He had left me to go be with her in another state where she moved. Well, anyway, a couple days later i get a phone call from an unknown number. I assumed it was one of my friends calling from a number i just didn’t have yet but it turns out to be him. I should have hung the phone up. But I didn’t. He tells me what a mistake he has made and that he wants to be with me…blah blah blah. I this was on like a thursday. On friday i go to his house to get the things of mine that were locked in his shed. He tells me again what a mistake he has made and that he want’s to be with me and I fall for it. I want him so badly to be telling me the truth. He says that Saturday, he will meet me at the lake and we will talk about things. I agree. Saturday comes…he doesn’t show up! I can’t believe it. Why would he do something so mean??!! I have been nothing but sweet to him!!! Monday morning comes and we find out that his ex tried to commit suicide and that her parents called him to come or some crap! I just don’t know what to do…So he calls and tells me all this shit and we talk for a long while. I tell him to come home and we can start things over. He agrees but is still gonna have to miss the vacation (that i paid for). So I go on vacation with my new friends and we have a great time. I come home to him waiting for me in the driveway. He tells me that he loves me and want’s me to move back in with him. So I do. He tells me he will never hurt me again and I believe him. So a few weeks later…I come home to him gone again! so I leave again. I will not go back!! how dare he! I get my things and I go to my friends lake camper. It’s kinda far away from everything and I don’t want him to even know where i am. I do call the ex’s house and ask for him and she hands him the phone. I give him some shit about making 2 women commit suicide and hang up. I wasn’t really thinking like that i just wanted him to feel like shit. Well he comes home the next day and is looking for me. They won’t tell him where I am. But, one evening they call, “you have to talk to him”. So I do. He tells me some story about how she lost her cat and he had to go help find it. The sad fact is, i kinda believed it. He would do anything for those animals, they were his too before she left. He was only there overnight. So whatever he finally drug it out of me where i was and i came back. I didn’t move back in with him though. I told him if he wanted to live with me then we wouldl have to do something else about the living situation. He was about to lose his house anyway because he stopped paying for it. So that was a couple months ago. I tried to break up with him again last month because I got our phone bill and saw that he had been talking to her like everyday. So I took his phone away from him I’ll be damned if I’m gonna pay for him to talk to her. When i left that time he hunted me down across town and talked me into staying with him again. my god! i must sound like the dumbest woman alive!!! Now, tonight….he told me that she is coming to get her things out of his house(it is about to be repossesed). She is supposed to be here tomorrow morning. I am just sick with worry. When I left him tonight i started crying and couldn’t stop. In fact Im about to start again. He told me not to worry and that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt our relationship. That he loves me. We will be going to a race tomorrow night and he promised that he’d be there. That he wasn’t leaving or anything. My fear is more that he is just having sex with her. He kept promising that everything would be ok and for me not to worry. But I can’t help but worry. I asked him to please call me so i know everything is alright. I know I won’t be able to sleep tonight and I really need to…we are at the race track tomorrow till 1 or 2 am I can’t believe i am in this situation….I have never loved someone like I love him and it just kills me to think he might be doing the unthikable. I have nightmares about it all the time to. That I walk in on him and her…and they laugh at me. It’s getting to be an every night deal. All I can do is get through tomorrow and hope for the best. We are supposed to move back in with each other next week. Into a different house. We’ll see what happens



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