Another fight, we fought 3 times this week itself…it seems as the number goes on increasing as time passes by… I love him…. he loves me… we keep on fighting… yeah, sounds a very normal relationship… but how many couples fight one minute after making up?? sometimes I feel I’m not left with any strength to go on anymore, I can’t take it the way he treats me sometimes… I just feel like ending it all but then I can’t even come up to do that…i love him too much to let go of him for anything…
These fights have become a routine… I do something… he assumes something else… we end up with him yelling at me and not even caring to hear me out at least once and me in tears… that’s when I hate myself… hate myself for letting someone treat me like this… but what to do when I can’t leave him?? And when I can’t go on like this??
Talking’s not helping either, he hardly listens when he’s angry and by the time he cools down he just wants me to forget and let go whatever happened
When he’s angry, he yells all sorts of crap, it needn’t be true. He just has to scream something and he does that by accusing me for every nonsense, like I am stupid I am immature and the list goes on. I feel miserable when someone thinks of me as someone that I’m not. And it hurts more when it comes from him.
What do you think a woman should do when she realizes the man that means the world to her doesn’t care if she leaves him or not. Last night he hurt me a lot, he was just treating me like he would treat any other girl he just met. I though he was in love with me and he cares about my feelings, but he was hurting me, he didn’t try to understand what I was trying to tell him, I was telling him about things bothering me and instead of understanding me he simply said “ please stop you are stupid”.
He is confusing me, I know he loves me but the way he treated me was like if I am nothing to him, he says he is not feeling good right now but this is not an excuse, I am not feeling good either but I would never treat him this way, I love him and I would never want to hurt him, and if I do I would do anything to make him forgive me and make him feel better. Then why doesn’t he do the same thing? Does it mean he doesn’t love me? Or does it mean he thinks it’s better for him if I leave him because I am not good enough.
I wish I had an answer to all these questions, but right now I think we are loosing each other, I see in him another person without heart without feelings, he just showed me that he doesn’t care about this relation and I can’t be with somebody who thinks like this. I was begging him to talk to me and he was just rejecting me, he knows he is the only person I talk to, he knows his effect on me, I was ready to follow him and I never though I would do something like with anybody, I did but I don’t think I will never do it again.