At least you’re on the right track by at least somewhat recognizing where you stand right now in life and also being realizing what you want so you can at least pose the questions “How can I take these beliefs and make them part of my life? How can I practice self-control?” That has got to be good. My only answer at this point is it takes time and can not be rushed. I may be wrong in that statement, but it’s just my opinion.

Try not to get so attached to practice that you neglect its purpose.

you are on track!
Buddhism isn’t about perfection. You acknowledge that your behavior hasn’t been perfect. This tells me that you are aware.