I’m thinking about moving on from a friendship I’m in right now. There’s this girl that just brings me down. Her attitude about life is just not in line with mine. And it seems to be less in line with mine, each day that passes. Yesterday she said something that I see as sign to move on: “People who seem happy all the time make me suspicious. It’s just not natural, it seems really fake. Those are the people most likely to have a lot of problems underneath it all.” I felt kind of like she was talking about me even though we were talking about someone else, because I consider myself one of those people – it’s just my disposition to be more positive about things. Maybe in some cases, but overall, I have to really disagree with her on that statement. Not everyone has to be as negative and unhappy as her all the time.
Because of her view that I’d already become perceptively aware of… I’ve slowly started to become a different person, from being around her so much – and I’m starting to realize that. I’m not quite as cheerful and upbeat as I used to be. I guess I’m honestly afraid of her raining on my parade and hurting my feelings if I show too much happiness when I’m around her – that’s not a good thing at all. It’s like she always finds something wrong with me for being so peppy and cheerful, like there has to be something actually wrong with me because of it. The truth is… what you see with me is what you get. If I’m sad, you’ll see it. If I’m happy, you’ll see it. If I’m mad, you’ll know. Why would I be something different than what I’m showing on the outside… on a daily basis? That doesn’t make sense.
The things that I feel most proud of about myself, my greatest characteristics, are slowly dwindling away because of her responses to my personality. Her attitude is really starting to take a toll on my self esteem. I’ve just become more sensative, overall, from most people’s comments towards me, just from hanging around her. I used to be soooo confident and so much stronger than this. I want that back, I’m not myself….. but that may mean completely moving on.
Does anyone else know someone who thinks like my friend? Does anyone reading this think like this? How can you look at being too positive and happy as a BAD thing? That makes absolutely no sense. It seems to be a very unhealthy way of thinking, in my opinion. Someone explain this way of thinking, because it seems so pointless and off to me.
