Every time I think I am doing well, and I am healthy and doing the right things where myself and relationships are concerned, I tend to see an Oprah show that blows that whole healthy feeling out of the water. I happened to watch one yesterday (first one in months!) and realized, yet again, I am settling for the crumbs in life, and not the whole cake. I am not trying to say that I am not doing a good job in general, I am trying to keep pounding it into my head that there are things in this life I want, and I can have them and settling for less is silly, and probably won’t make me very happy in the long run. Over the past year, I have really started to feel like an adult, I have made very adult investments, very adult decisions, and now I am starting to learn what I want from my adult life. And I am not getting it. I also want to continue to change personally, because I think that these things I want start with my attitude, and it is not always “perfect”, for lack of a better word. So I guess I need to readjust yet again, and remember that I am worth it. And sometimes, when you change, others follow suit and things get fixed easier. Also I have to remember, I can’t force change on others, they have to find their own way, and hopefully, they will.
Wake up call?
When I see something that reminds me I could do better, be better, there’s a mixed set of emotions … “darn! I’m settling for less than I could …”
and “thanks for helping me see where I need to go next.” I’m grateful for the awareness that allows me to see boths sides.
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