That could very well be and would work for me if she didn’t want the bulk of my social interactions to include her and want time with just the two of us, too. Frankly, that’s more social time than I spent with my husband and I adored him and we spent a lot of time together. It’s just too much for me. Not a bad or wrong thing but too much for me.

What amazes me is that she’s seen this pattern before and even told me that she prefers our social interactions when I’ve had enough time alone and don’t feel over-peopled. I think another key, which I didn’t think of until I read your comment, is that her social time is limited so she wants it to always include her favorite people. Hmmm…need to do more thinking before I speak.

That’s it exactly. What a perfect phrase. The wild thing, to me, is that I see her a minimum of once a week for at least two hours and more often than not see her on the weekend. That seems like a lot of time to me!

If I’m honest, there’s also the fact that I find her difficult to take in large doses. There’s a lot of talk about other people and what they’ve “done to” her and a lot of bitterness and anger. I can only send out the loving, accepting rays for so long before I feel them morphing into snarky “then why don’t you change something in your life” rays.

I usually tell people straight out that if I don’t get my alone time, I will be exceedingly unpleasant to be around. It’s the truth and mine to deal with. It’s also true that when you limit your time with people, the priority you put on your time with them is crystal clear and not everyone can deal with that.

Very perceptive, in fact. I don’t think she means to be so draining but yes, she is. She sees me as different somehow, not like other people, so she saves her most intense interactions and needs for me. It’s a lot to handle. I have never been able to sustain a relationship that doesn’t have a certain amount of levity to it. Heck, my husband and I laughed on the locked ward together after I had him committed against his will!

She’s going through a lot of very serious stuff right now and our time together always seems to involve a lot of analytical, intense talk from her and me listening and listening and listening. I literally cleanse myself internally with white and green light when I’m with her to keep her energy from getting tangled with mine. It’s tiring. I’m looking forward to a two week break and then working on making things more equitable between us or creating more distance. It’s going to be very difficult. I get the feeling she already feels that I am trying to avoid her and it hurts her feelings that I don’t always want to plunge into the deep, dark depths of her being.