LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Fill in the blank spaces on my canvas (read all 2 entries…)

I guess this goes here. 2 years ago

Current topic up for discussion at counselling is “why I don’t value myself”.

This seems to have been an ongoing issue for me. I think it’s how I managed to stay in my first crappy relationship for so long (about seven years)... and then move on to, and marry, someone who valued me even less than I did.

I’ve always tended to assume that people won’t remember me, and so with that in mind, I usually reintroduce myself (e.g. “Hi, it’s LL, from blah blah”). When I first got to know some of my wonderful friends from uni, there were some whom I counted as my friends, but I doubted that they would consider me as their friend. Even here, to begin with, I was intimidated by the amazing people I came across.

I have been making headway… I have more of a belief in myself now, I know that my friends value me, and I don’t feel quite so ‘forgettable’. I’m certainly much more likely to just jump in with weirdo comments here, with minimal hesitation.

The miserable moments of late have helped identify this as an issue I need to sort through… as I’ll be leaving town in December, we’ve moved the sessions up from fortnightly to weekly, to give us a really good opportunity to thrash it all out.

Oct 11, 2006, 06:31AM PDT | 14 cheers

Comments:

You should value yourself.

I and many others here do. You can count me as your friend, and I hope I can condsider you mine.

((((Major hugs to you))))

Oct 11, 2006, 06:37AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Thanks love. :-)

Of course we’re friends.

_{Er, you shout your poor travelling friends beers… right? ;-)}

Oct 11, 2006, 06:51AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Of course I do.

Unless they’re working behind the bar, in which case they can shout them all night. ;)

Oct 11, 2006, 06:56AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Ha!

If only it worked like that… I’d be the most popular girl at the ~~ball~~ bar.

Oct 11, 2006, 07:06AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

I'm sure

you’ll be pretty popular regardless. ;)

Oct 11, 2006, 07:09AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Can I... - LL

Course you can. - Cookie

My portfolio? - LL

Spread out across the bar? - Cookie

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 11, 2006, 06:49AM PDT

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Thank you too marms. :-)

Oct 11, 2006, 07:09AM PDT | Respond to this

Absnasm is her own '80s album cover.

Oh, LL!

I had no idea you felt this way. I don’t get it, you’re lovely. I consider you my friend. I hope you think the same of me. You have always certainly made a great impression on me.

(((((((LL))))))))

Oct 11, 2006, 07:24AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

That means a lot Abs… I think you’re fabulous (Abs Fab, in fact).

_{Truth be told, I was a bit intimidated by you when I first started. Please don’t take that the wrong way… I was in awe of your humour, smarts, and brilliant writing.}

Still in awe, really. :-D

((((((((((Abs))))))))))

Oct 11, 2006, 07:51AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Absnasm is her own '80s album cover.

Oh, phooey.

I’m a complete dork in real life. Ask anyone.

Oct 11, 2006, 08:13AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 11, 2006, 08:16AM PDT

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

I phooey your phooey (with an extra helping of phooey).

Dork, my arse.

I don’t believe that for a second.

Oct 11, 2006, 08:17AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

headapollo is working 9 to 5

She ain't

She’s even better in real life.

Oct 11, 2006, 11:02AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 11, 2006, 12:27PM PDT

Absnasm is her own '80s album cover.

You flatterer.

What do you want?

I’ll probably do it.

Oct 15, 2006, 06:45AM PDT | Respond to this

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 11, 2006, 07:49AM PDT

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Hi Dorian!

((((((((hugs))))))))

:-D

Oct 11, 2006, 08:00AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 11, 2006, 08:21AM PDT

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Thanks La Tordue. :-)

((((((hugs))))))

You’re quite the inspiration. :-D

_{Except for the ego bit… ;-P}

Oct 12, 2006, 08:03PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 13, 2006, 12:41AM PDT

JenniferParis is seeking to understand before being understood

Darling LL...

oh…I am so glad you are here, you know? huggitty hug hug…_{I am glad you are my partner in searching for the light in all of this…you can do this!}

Oct 11, 2006, 12:24PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Thankyou JP… and thankyou for the invite gorgeous. :-D

((((((hugs))))))

_{I’m in a huggy mood again today.}

I’ll have to start bugging you soon for tips on visiting Paris! Woo hoo!

Oct 12, 2006, 08:07PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

JenniferParis is seeking to understand before being understood

Well, thank you for joining the invite!

...it is good to have a flying partner=) Perhaps some others will join us, as well=) I too, as luck would have it, am in a huggity mood….(when am I not?) so (((((((((((((((((more hugs))))))))))))))
to you!

You are coming to Paris????? WOW! Fantastic! I can’t wait!

Oct 12, 2006, 09:08PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Mais oui!

I’m thinking I might try to get over to Paris in February. I’m hoping I can take advantage of the cold weather to do lots of ‘indoorsy’ things… visit museums and such, whilst the crowds aren’t too huge.

Champagne? :-D

(((((((hugs)))))))

Oct 13, 2006, 07:32PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

JenniferParis is seeking to understand before being understood

fantastique!

Oui…the bubbly will be flowing! I love Paris in the Winter (I am an odd bird=)...but then, I love Paris every season! Ok…so let me know how I can help you to plan your trip=)

Oct 13, 2006, 10:15PM PDT | Respond to this

Cynonymous

No way

You are quite the popular girl here!

Oct 11, 2006, 06:18PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

(((((hugs))))) for you too Cyn!

:-D

Oct 12, 2006, 08:10PM PDT | Respond to this

heaveemetal Erase myself And let go of what i’ve done

What's not to value?......

Your writing and honesty is something to be envied…your sense of fun and humour is a joy.

I have treasured our interactions here…and hope to have many more…

Please accept my warmest {{{Hugs}}} LL…

Oct 11, 2006, 10:26PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Hey there Heav!

Long time no hug! (Weren’t we going to do something about that?)

(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

We may get to do this for real in Vegas!

Oct 12, 2006, 08:14PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

heaveemetal Erase myself And let go of what i’ve done

HI LL.......

I’ve missed you terribly as I value your fine self much…I don’t know why you don’t see the beauty in you…It’s obvious to all of us…

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}.......

^{Do you know how amazing it would be to meet you in person?}

Oct 12, 2006, 08:19PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Aw Heav...

you’ve made me a bit teary.

:::tickles:::

_{In case you’re wondering… I learnt recently that if you tickle the roof of your mouth with your tongue, it helps to stop you from crying. Not sure how it works, whether it’s from concentrating or from the sensation… but it sure seems to do the trick!}

I’m pretty seriously looking at options for Vegas… :-D Would be very amazing to meet you!

_{Oops, I have to run for now, but will be back later!}

Oct 12, 2006, 08:27PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

heaveemetal Erase myself And let go of what i’ve done

Vegas will be....

so much fun…You have to come and hang with the crowd…

I might have to try the method you describe…I need it sometimes…I swear...

If you ever need a virtual therapist, counselor or good friend…I volunteer.

^ Hug you for real…WOW^...

Oct 12, 2006, 08:39PM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

mooniebutt

ooOo

sneaks in

^{Thanks for that tip!
I’m going to try it next time.}

P.S. I enjoy reading you, LL
and I’m rooting for you too.

sneaks out

Oct 12, 2006, 09:14PM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

Benji is waving her feet goodbye...

Yer lovely LL!

sorry am late, am poorly..

But you are yer lovely

_{can I have a hug too? I’m not contagious, promise..}

((hug))

Oct 11, 2006, 11:18PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

Malc

Poorly ??

That not good, wots up ??

Yeah you can have a hug … BIG one on its way to Benji

(((((((((( H U G ))))))))))

Oct 11, 2006, 11:54PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Benji is waving her feet goodbye...

thankoo malc

meh.

msn later mate? have to go on a trip with a lecturer to cardiff, be back this aft you around?

Oct 11, 2006, 11:55PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Malc

Ooooo sounds important

How about lunch ?? Can meet you half way between Kent n Wales ??

Yeah should be on MSN later not sure what I gonna do today. Think I’ll take the day off lol, gotta go shopping (like a true girlie), see me dad, wanna take some photos, do few other bits etc etc.

Ya trip sounds like fun. Make sure you behave !!!!!

Oct 12, 2006, 12:01AM PDT | Respond to this

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

it's 0008 PDT + 8 UTC

::kisses Welsh Dywysoges
all over and runs and jumps
in the shower with his
toothbrush and dull razor
to touch up those sexy legs::

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 12:10AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Benji is waving her feet goodbye...

Dull razor??

Matty owww!

you some kind of masochist?

;)

Oct 12, 2006, 07:41AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

The sharps

are most
dangerous, I’ve
found – with bits
of t.p. all over
my scarred-up knees.

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 07:46AM PDT | Respond to this

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

(((((hugs))))) for Benji… are you feeling any better?

_{That’s the good thing about virtual hugging and kissing… minimises the risk! ;-D}

Oct 12, 2006, 08:16PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Benji is waving her feet goodbye...

it so does LL

and thanks yeah, am feeling better today, still a little bit of pain, but nothing some drugs won’t cure

;)

Oct 12, 2006, 10:02PM PDT | Respond to this

Malc

Hi LL

Ya know my friend not often you are wrong but sorry on this occasion you are.

You are a fab fab person, smart, caring, funny and you bring so many smiles to others on this site.

Never doubt you value to the world, your friends and most of all to yourself. I know you been having a rough time darl’ but try to keep smiling cos there’s so many people out there who value you, and some of them havent even met you yet.

Good luck with this cos I know its hard but keep ya belief and if the doubts start creeping in then let me know and I’ll be on ya case.

Take care, thinking of you.

Oct 11, 2006, 11:59PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Thanks Malc. :-)

You’re a very good friend.

((((((hugs))))))

Most of this crappy stuff now has come up because I tried to ignore it for so long. Oh well, if you keep sweeping the crap under the rug, eventually all you end up with is a mountain of crap with a rug on top. Someone still has to deal with it eventually.

At least the someone dealing with my ~~mountain~~ molehill is me.

Oct 12, 2006, 08:20PM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

kisses LL all over

::because she’s hot and
runs into the shower to
sing loudly and shave legs::

_Hot, and smart, I’m
telling you…_

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 12:13AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

You always seem...

to kiss and run.

I’m not sure if you’re a tease, or a tart. :-D

Oct 12, 2006, 07:17PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

I never tease

you. Serious.

You’re perpetually
my favorite thing.

A tart? Even for a
dashing poet, I’m miserable
at getting laid. Too
picky and I care too
much. I’m not a kiss
and run guy.

I admit, I’ve got a
thing for Ms. Jkuhl,
but she’s elusive and
likes cowboys. I’d make
a pathetic cowboy.

I’m infuriating, but I’m
an honest monkey.

...ook.

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 07:33PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

A little...

teasing ain’t such a bad thing. If it’s the right kind of teasing. ;-P

In my not-so-humble opinion:

being picky and caring is a very good thing;
cowboys are over-rated (sorry Flirt!), but you’d in all likelihood make a good one (“Woo hoo! Ride ‘em…” ...ahem!);
you’re not in any way infuriating… except possibly to Dixie. But she loves it.

The monkey thing, I’m not so sure about. I mean, they’re cute an’ all, but… I just don’t know.

_{I’ll always luff you Matty. :-)}

Oct 12, 2006, 07:46PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

ok...

I can be fishboy, too.

...ta hell with the
monkeys.

My ancestors were fish
before monkeys anyway.

I’m the end product of
adaptable algae, fish and
monkeys.

It’s amazing I can pee
in a toilet, I’m telling
you this.

I luff you like sails
on a sloop close-hauled.

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 08:50PM PDT | Respond to this

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 13, 2006, 06:31AM PDT

jkuhl is moving states jkuhl is working at getting to the mtn

elusive?

i thot you wore a cowboy hat on the submersivable…? (spelling?)

i am so in the throws of the paths we cross, and its still the same theme…

a double helix to my heart, which thread will win out?—xojk

Oct 13, 2006, 09:12AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

Doh!

Darn it!

Everytime you do that
you make me fall for
you even harder!

What are you doing now?
The Moab 24hr Endurance?

You get the badass award
my dear. I’ll never keep
up with you – better fine
tune the fasttwitch muscles
and work on that 5min mile.

::kisses::

))){

Oct 13, 2006, 10:17AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

sweet m, - jkuhl is moving states

...hey, - <'))){

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

it's 1905 PDT (+8 UTC)

and LL is still hot
and valuable. If she
lived in S. Oregon, I’d
take her out to a fondue
joint and make her laugh
at my smartsimian antics.

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 07:08PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Cheese or chocolate? ;-)

Oct 12, 2006, 07:16PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

chocolate, please...

my brother, B
gave me some
Morbier cheese
the other day. I
nearly hurled.

Off cheese for
a while…

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 07:35PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

Chocolate...

‘tis then.

With strawberries? Yum!

_{I’m getting an odd sense of deja vu here…}

Oct 12, 2006, 07:51PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

<'))){ Squids Unlimited ™

Were we going to

discuss you and me
and strawberries, once?

Something about ravishing
you on a bed of strawberries?

Yes… that smacks familiar
my heart is racing, yes, I
think that’s about right.

))){

Oct 12, 2006, 08:54PM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 12, 2006, 09:45PM PDT

Malc

I noticed that too ...

... maybe you go away together, or maybe you are one and the same person … very mysterious !!

Shopping ? Did someone mention shopping ? I’m just going, wanna join me ?

Oct 13, 2006, 12:00AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 13, 2006, 05:59AM PDT

Malc

Every mans dream ...

... to be hauled around the back by LL and MP ;)

Oct 13, 2006, 06:09AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 13, 2006, 06:26AM PDT

Ha ha - Malc

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 13, 2006, 06:04AM PDT

Malc

Maybe next time

I just got back, so will have to be next time.

Shame cos you just missed a 5 hour wander around the largest mall in Europe.

Think they got at least 20 places that sell shoes if not more.

Oct 13, 2006, 06:11AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 13, 2006, 06:18AM PDT

Sorry is 20 not enough ?? - Malc

Really? - muneca_princesa

I checked ... - Malc

So... - muneca_princesa

Fast mover !! - Malc

I'm a pro. - muneca_princesa

Absoluetely !! - Malc

LL is precisely where she ought to be.

'Allo :-D

A whole hundred bucks? Hmmm… gets a girl to thinkin’...

((((((hugs))))))

Bought any cute shoes lately? Or have you been too busy working and bumming around at the beach?

Oct 13, 2006, 07:28PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

(This comment was deleted.)

Oct 13, 2006, 08:31PM PDT

Flirt would like to visit Denises' photo exhibition today!

Isn't it silly

how the smartest, kindest, nicest, funniest people (meaning you and me, of course) can put such a low value on themselves!!! What’s the deal with that, anyway?

All you have to do, LL, is look at the responses you have on this entry to see how much you are valued on 43things. And I’m taking a wild guess here that the people in your “real life” feel the same way. After all, there are not too many people who are friends with their ex’s new girlfriend and hangout at their soon-to-be-ex in-laws for the weekend.

The hard part is convincing yourself that your opinion is wrong and the rest of us are right. I’m glad to see that you’re realizing this and getting to work at setting the record straight. That right there shows what you’re made of!!!

Oct 15, 2006, 11:52AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

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LL has gotten 14 cheers on this entry.

SarahBug cheered this 9 months ago
heaveemetal cheered this 2 years ago
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Absnasm cheered this 2 years ago
Cookie cheered this 2 years ago

Comments:

You should value yourself.

Of course I do.

Ha!

I'm sure

Oh, LL!

Oh, phooey.

I phooey your phooey (with an extra helping of phooey).

She ain't

You flatterer.

Hi Dorian!

Darling LL...

Well, thank you for joining the invite!

Mais oui!

fantastique!

No way

What's not to value?......

Hey there Heav!

HI LL.......

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}.......

Aw Heav...

Vegas will be....

ooOo

Yer lovely LL!

Poorly ??

thankoo malc

Ooooo sounds important

it's 0008 PDT + 8 UTC

Dull razor??

The sharps

it so does LL

Hi LL

kisses LL all over

You always seem...

I never tease

A little...

ok...

elusive?

Doh!

it's 1905 PDT (+8 UTC)

chocolate, please...

Chocolate...

Were we going to

I noticed that too ...

Every mans dream ...

Maybe next time

'Allo :-D

Isn't it silly

LL has gotten 14 cheers on this entry.

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