namaste.

-Bernadette Devlin
{{{ Huge Hugs!! }}}}, as my heart goes out to you Cyn . I can’t imagine all the turmoil you must be going through right now…. Close your doors to those toxic few who have made their way into your life, and only allow those willing to help , understand, and stand stoutly beside you to enter your inner circle right now when you need the support the most. You are very much in my thoughts and prayers , Namaste Friend.

Thank you DG. The more I think about the negativity people bring into my life the more I can associate it with my declining health. I have good feelings about what they found on Friday, and put my trust 100% into my surgeon. Everything happens for an unknown reason and maybe this was the wake up call I needed.

Thank you my friend for all your beautiful thoughts and prayers. I am so blassed to have people like yourself in my life—even if only online.
Namaste.

Sending positive thoughts and feeling your way. Have faith.

It never ends, the battery and series of never ending tests. More MRIs scheduled for this month. Then another dr appt next week, my surgeons was last Weds. I know my body and can feel something not right. Is it right to to bleed continually for months on end? Geeeeeeeeez, I dont think so but the doctors they think otherwise…...I know that its back. I just know it.

I wish you strength, and a good report. Huggs…

Your a trooper like my mom. She is going through these treatments as well, endless testing. She had a lump removed under her armpit, they removed part of her lymph node as well, wow! Small world as when I read your first entry I thought I had written it.

One question, is an MRI better than a PET/CAT scan? It seemed that she was clean with the second to last scan and a month and one half later they found cancer, however, she noticed the lump before the scan. I wonder if an MRI is more or less effective than the PET/CAT scan. Thanks.

((((((((((((((huggs)))))))))))))))

Love,

George :)

To have sucha wonderful support group here at 43things. I thank everyone for their kind words and support.

I am frustrated and that is obvious. I feel like I am carrying this huge burden within me because I dont have the answers I need. I have doctors who second guess my telling them that there IS something wrong. They misdiagnosed the cancer in 2001 and I should be celebrating being my 5 year cancer free mark. Instead my body says “something is NOT right!”. I pressed for a PET scan but they think the cancer hasnt returned and dont want to subject me to even more radiation so an MRI is what they are calling for. A normal PAP, no cancer is the lymph nodes removed in May, a very painful ache in my lower body but the bone scan showed nada. Now they believe the lump I feel is simply sacr tissue. I think they’re wrong. In my heart I feel something is just not right.
George I remember reading about your Mom, and I am so sorry. I cant talk to my parents about this mainly because they are elderly and in grief over the loss of a loved one a few months ago. Family is 1000 miles away and I am beginning to think my husband is sort of leaning to the docs point of view. I am just hating having all that is wrong with me—-my 40 year warranty is about to get thrown out the window.

Sorry for rambling and I appreciate all the love, concern and good thoughts and prayers being sent my way. I am so grateful my friends.

Namaste and peace.

Still waiting for the MRI clinic to schedule my appt (backlogged because of the holidays) Its crazy when your primary health care in a military hospital.
Anyways, I have an appt scheduled for Weds with my doctor—my husband scheduled it. (aha….he knew I was frustrated)

Anyways, this is a relief. Tired of putting things off.

This is just crazy—another CT scan (my 4th this year!), another MRI and an ultrasound. Does anyone even know how safe all this radiation truly is???

Frustration. BIG time.

sigh

and to let you know I am thinking of you, and sending well wishes and positive waves your way. Much love to you Cynn, please take care.

Dharma, your avatar is just making me laugh hysterically-dont ask me why, possibly a sugar high from all the icing I consumed tonight?

I appreciate your kind words, thoughts, prayers, wishes and positive waves. Means a lot to me and i am so grateful to have let people like you, even if its only online. :o)
I made one more appointment today bringing the grand total up to 5 (2 doc appts and 3 tests), and sadly the only open slots they have are the second week in January. I get angry and then thought “WHY?” Why be angry? Why dont I simply take life as it comes and enjoy each and every moment?

So Merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Channukah or Festivus as George’s Dad (like to celebrate on Seinfeld)-whatever celebration you partake in. Enjoy the season, my friend.

Much peace and love. Namaste!