Thank God for my best friend. she’s home this year, going to college with me. I really need my partner in crime. i can talk to her about anything. i’m the type of person who is really shy, i can seem energenic and outgoing at times, but deep down i always wonder if people really like me, even if it doesn’t logicaly make sense. i always feel like people are judging me in their head and maybe sometimes agreeing with eachother verbally behind my back. i donno. i would be so imbarassed to tell anyone else. it was so hard for me to tell even her, because well, i’m just not suppost to feel this way. i have a few friends who i have a huge bond with, but i don’t ever really get to see them any more and one of them died 2 years ago. Sarah said maybe i feel this way because i compare every relationship with them. it makes sense. we don’t hang out with eachother at parties, we mingle with everyone, but i really do need her there, to know i belong. To reassure me no one is thinking “who’s your friend; who likes you?” i just wonder if anyone else feels this way. without her here it would be another year of feeling like i don’t really belong and don’t have true friends. i realize now that for me feeling happy is feeling like i belong. hopefully by the end of the school year, i’ll feel happy even without my bf around.