I must see this goal through. It’s getting real old fast. I am finding it so hard to do this. I have no self control and rationalize in my mind why it’s ok today to drink. I wake up almost every morning mad at myself but by afternoon I am ready for another go at it. I want to do this but it has been a part of my life since I was 16 and it’s hard to cut back. I don’t want to endanger my health anymore than I have. I have so many interests but they go by the wayside as I am usually drunk every night. I feel like a loser cause I can’t seem to get it together. I’m not drinking tonight mostly because my body feels like I have the flu from this last 2 week bender. This sucks.