You know something? When you have two left feet, it’s pretty difficult to be Latin American. People immediately think that because I’m Hispanic I simply MUST know how to dance. It’s very embarrasing. The point is that I enjoy watching people dance, and I love listening to the music and all, but actual dancing is not my thing, so I’ve never done much of it. And as far as formal dancing, like with steps and all that stuff… forget it! I haven’t got the slightest clue. It makes it very difficult for me to be able to go to dances because people keep pestering me to dance, and I simply don’t want to. So my goal to learn to dance is really motivated by my need to be able to physically be present in places where there is dancing going on without having to feel like a pariah or like I want to kill someone.

And I don’t care what anybody says – not everyone can learn to dance. I have wonderful fine motor skills. I can draw, write, tie intricate knots, sew… I just can’t move my body the way I want. And no amount of instruction is going to change my two left feet into one right and one left. So there.