ardilla actually graduated this fall!

be more patient (read all 5 entries…)
Today's Daily Om 3 years ago

Choose Your WordsFailure

The word failure puts forward a very simplistic way of thinking that allows for only two possibilities: failure or success. Few things in the universe are black and white, yet much of our language reads as if they are. The word failure signifies a paradigm in which all subtlety is lost. When we regard something we have done, or ourselves, as a failure, we lose our ability to see the truth, which is no doubt considerably more complex. In addition, we hurt ourselves. All you have to do is speak or read the word failure and see how it makes you feel.

At some point, the word may not have been so loaded with the weight of negativity, and it simply referred to something that did not go according to plan. Unfortunately, in our culture it is often used very negatively, such as when a person is labeled a failure, even though it is impossible for something as vast and subtle as a human being to be reduced in such a way. It also acts as a deterrent, scaring us from taking risks for fear of failure. It has somehow come to represent the worst possible outcome. Failure is a word so burdened with fearful and unconscious energy that we can all benefit from consciously examining our use of it, because the language we use influences the way we think and feel.

Next time you feel like a failure or fear failure, know that you are under the influence of an outmoded way of perceiving the world. When the world failure comes up, it’s a call for us to apply a more enlightened consciousness to the matter at hand. When you are consciously aware of the word and its baggage you will not fall victim to its darkness. In your own use of language, you may choose to stop using the word failure altogether. This might encourage you to articulate more clearly the truth of the situation, opening your mind to subtleties and possibilities the word failure would never have allowed.

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Comments:

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ardilla actually graduated this fall!

I'm so glad

you found it useful and that you have already integrated the main idea into your life. I’m flattered that you thought I had written this piece, but I simply transcribed it from yesterday’s DailyOm. I receive their messages daily (as the name suggests) and I sporadically post the ones that speak to me in some way or another. I’ve found it to be a great source of inspiration and wisdom, often hitting the nail on the head on my current situation and providing much needed perspective.

What a great idea to share it with your children. I wish I’d had this information when I was growing up, it would have definitely made life easier, your kids are very lucky.

Cheers!

Absnasm has high apple-pie in the sky hopes for 2010!

I love the Daily Om.

Sometimes I can’t be arsed to read it, but when I do, it’s always insightful and helpful.

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Same thing happens to me

I have tens of unread ones in my inbox. I know there will be a day when either I or someone close will benefit from them so I keep them until that day comes.

(This comment was deleted.)

that day is today

these words are so important for me to hear. thank you for putting them out there ardilla.

(This comment was deleted.)

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Cheers!

You can sign up to have them bring it to your email box for free instead of you having to go to their website :)

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(This comment was deleted.)

Thanks for sharing this.

One aside, if you will:

Who are the Robots, and what is “Lickety-Split?” I know the latter means in a hurry, but I think you are referring to some cartoon character, or animated character.

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Of Ponies and Robots

The Robots are the members of the Robot Co-Op ; they developed and administer 43Things and its sibling sites, but more importantly they’re a bunch of cool fun guys. In their coolness, they code-name their web development projects with pony names, and Lickety Split is their latest one aimed at overhauling the site and making it faster. I decided to change my name as a display of support instead of complaining. Hope that clarifies things a bit :)

Cheers!

evenstar42 wishes everyone a bright and beautiful 2010

I've been wondering

who or what this Lickety Split was that you and Moose are so ardently supporting! Been meaning to ask you for days. Yay for the Robots – did you see they’ve changed the Oops page? It has a cool picture now of someone diving into a crowd. Makes a nice change :o)

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Nope

I haven’t gotten the dreaded Oops since they started work on the website a couple weeks ago, and I’d much rather not see that page regardless of how cool it is :p

Interesting thoughts... and I'll just add to it that

success/failure also imply a type of judgment and judgment tends to imply something is good or bad: Success is good. Failure is bad. But why do we feel the need to judge? To quote a popular phrase “it is what it is”.

Yes, we want to learn from our experiences so that next time, we can avoid the same problems, but our “failures” help build our experiences… and help build who we are, so why should we judge these experiences negatively.

By the way, I have noticed that many of your goals are common themes to what I found I needed to do to become more patient. These include:

  • Meditate on clarity (Anger and stress are primitive emotions which prevent one from thinking clearly and making good decisions. Meditation helps clear your mind of stress.)
  • Stop overanalyzing (If you can rid yourself of stress, you can then trust your inner self and not depend on overthinking. Your inner self will know what to say or do and when to say or do it.)
  • Surrender ego and Be humble (Expectations are usually based on ego. Expectations usually lead to disappointment and frustration. I mentioned losing ego in the comments of the above referenced post.)
  • Accept and love my mother for who she is (I found I usually have the least patience for those whom I should have the most patience.)
  • Be happy and smile (Elimination of stress from my life has led me to feel the happiest I have felt in my life.)
  • Be kind (Without ego and judging others, it’s easier to be kind.)
  • Accept the things I cannot change, have courage to change the things I can and have the wisdom to know the difference (I’ve also quoted the serenity prayer with these concepts. A key discovery for me is how others think and behave are not something I can change. I can have influence but not change. They are the only ones who can change. Also, the past and the future are things which I cannot change. For the future, yes, I can have influence, but I cannot change the future. By definition, the future is something which has not happened yet. Therefore, the things I can change are (1) how I think and (2) now. Therefore, trying to change anything other than those two things is futile.)
  • Be more compassionate
  • Focus on the positive (This is related to a concept of a visual image to help reduce stress, like when something negative happens, is that you catch the event/circumstance, observe it, then throw it away. You don’t necessarily want to completely forget all the negative experiences, because there may be something useful to learn from it.)
  • Forgive (This is related to not holding grudges and that the past is the past.)
  • Leave the past in the past, the future in the future, and enjoy the present of the present (Same as I mentioned above. The present is the best time of your life. Not the past, not the future. Why not try to enjoy the best time of your life the best way possible…)
  • Stop beating myself up for old mistakes (Not only should you forgive others for past mistakes, but most importantly, you should forgive yourself. What is past is past. Learn from your mistake and enjoy the present as much as possible since it is the best time of your life.)
  • Discover my spiritual practice (All the above can be a very spiritual experience, as you try not to be in control but you try to be calm and open to find what is the best for you.)
  • Practice ahimsa (By eliminating stress in your life, you can eliminate anger, hatred, frustration… All the feelings which may cause you to be have or support violent tendencies…)

I wish you luck in achieving your goals!

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Thank you

That’s an interesting analysis.


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