Sometimes, for a very short time I wish that I could be normal again. I wish that I could just call up my old friends and just go out like old times… kinda like I’ve been feeling today. I, however, could never do that. Not because my friends wouldn’t welcome me back with open arms, or not because I couldn’t go to any random bar or club in this city and meet new and exciting people and have a wild night on the town, but because I know too much. God has brought me too far, through too much and has shown me too much about Himself for me to ever go back to living a life of emptiness facaded by wildness. I tried that life and God delivered me from it and gave me a life with eternal purpose. The things I do now actually make a difference not only in the world, but my life’s work will impact eternity! That’s crazy… I am dedicating my life to God… insane. I just want to be all He has for me to be. I want to get to the gates of glory and stand flat-footed and say that I did absolutely everything I could with my life. More than anything I want my life to bring glory to God; I want God to be proud of me. I’ve done so much to cause shame and pain that I can never undo… but with what I have left of life I will committ to going wherever God leads me. I will not be ashamed of the gospel; I will take it to the ends of the earth! I promise