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mintchip is trying to get back on track!

cry less (read all 2 entries…)
One cannot put out a fire with tears

My whole life I have had a problem with crying. I cannot control it. I cry when I’m sad, (normal) but I also cry when I’m frustrated, angry, or feel like I don’t have control of a situtation. Although I’ve never done this to manipulate a situation (although I’ve been accused of that) it did often work in my favor when I was younger. However I find that as I get older, it is embarrassing, and makes people not take me seriously. I already look young, so people view me as a child, or (men) view me as a “stupid emotional woman”. I would give anything to rid myself of this horrible problem. Recently I had a situation arise that lead me to become emotional. I had my boyfriend’s parents on the phone and his mother sais she’d call me back on the house line. Unaware that she hadn’t hung up the phone I heard her say angrily, “It’s always something with her”. It really hurt me. I know that my behavoir isn’t acceptable for an adult. However I cannot control it. Poeple don’t understand how hard it is for me, that I do not want to react this way, that I am constantly fighting back the lump in my throat and my tears. I have even considered hypnosis. I sometimes am able to handle situtiations in the proper assertive manner without the tears, and afterwards feel relieved, and pleased with my success. However I still find myself struggling to make it a regular occurance. I recieved a fortune cookie once that said: One cannot put out a fire with tears. I try to tell myself this when these situtations arise, but it doesn’t always keep me from crying.



Comments:

(This comment was deleted.)

word for word. This is me. i cry when i’m mad, frustrated, hurt (even a little), alone, afraid, worried… everything. and why can’t i just stop? why can’t i take a minute to catch my breath? because it doesn’t work. the situation isn’t even dire but it can’t wait either. i hate this

Donna razzle dazzle

Me too

I don’t usually cry when I’m frustrated or angry (thankfully), but I cry for the world’s sadness or my future sadness. I think I could cry every day, but I blink it back as much as possible.

I think of my parents getting older and I just cry.

I cry when I see anyone else cry (like the loved ones of soldiers killed in war). I cry when I hear a sad story on the news.

I ‘tear up’ at the airport when I see people saying good-bye (even if they aren’t crying).

I try to stop and have a stiff upper lip, but nothing seems to help. And when I say I want to stop crying about someone else’s sadness…my husband instructs, ‘well, stop crying,’ but it just makes me cry more…

I cried at my wedding, all of my sibling’s weddings and at every anniversary. And I wish I could say they were tears of happinesss. I don’t think I’ve ever cried tears of happiness. It was more of a bittersweet acknowledgement of childhood gone by or other days of youth left behind…argh.

Rationally I know that we all grow up and grow old and good things happen all the while; still, it has such an element of sadness that make my tears flow.

No, mintchip, you are not alone…

It's comforting to see

so many of us say the same thing. I just left a comment for a man on… “control my emotions” He’s even been through the army.

It freaks people out so much – just like you said, they can’t take you seriously, they don’t get it. But when you argue and start crying so hard you can’t speak… clearly you can’t continue.

A tear for every feeling under the sun? For a little while, when my anxiety was out of control, I would even cry when I got too nervous. Seeing doctors, being asked awkward questions… when we had to do relaxation exercises in theatre…

I don’t have the answer. It’s under more control than it used to be, for me. Still when I quit my job, instead of being angry, instead of telling the boss she was a bully no one liked and the only reason I hated my job… I cried and stuttered and couldn’t speak.

Have you been to therapy at all? Having a good one is essential – they’re not all so good. I think a lot of our reactions like this come from deep pains we haven’t dealt with- I have a lot of childhood issues I’m still afraid to fully examine. And also HOW we were or weren’t taught to deal with our emotions.

I try to remind myself that I feel the bad overwhelmingly, but I also feel the good overwhelmingly. Trees, colors, silly child-like things. I giggle uncontrollably.

Good luck with this. Feel free to message me. :)

mintchip is trying to get back on track!

Wow...

I just noticed all the responses today. It really does make me feel better to know that other people experience the same feelings.
I started seeing a psychologist yesterday, and am taking steps to overcome my depression and I am hoping to learn how to cope better when these crying situations arise. I also was diagnosed with OCD, and the axiety I get from needing to feel in control, and fearing not having contol of things obviously plays a big part in my crying and reactions to situations. Sigh…
Anyways, thanks everyone for your support.

Carly feels content.

i feel better now.

I really thought that there weren’t many people out there who felt like this, but it feels so good to know we’re not alone.

I cry whenever my body feels stressed in anyway, whether I’m aware of it or not. Angry, sad, frustrated, exhausted, pretty much any feeling of extreme-ness and I’m in tears.

I agree 110% with what you are saying.
It used to work when I was younger, but now it’s just something I wish I could have control over. No one believes me when I say I can’t control it.

It makes my boyfriend uncomfortable, because I think he grew up in a family where crying was considered a sign of weakness. He tries to be patient with me, but I can tell it’s not easy for him when I cry for what appears to be no reason at all. I’ve tried explaining this to him, but he still doesn’t understand.

My mom has helped me alot with this, and her advice is to just remember all of the beautiful things in life and be thankful for them, and to concentrate on all the love that people have for you (like the love your parents have towards you, grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends, etc.)

Anyway, thankyou for putting into words for me and letting me know I’m not alone.


 

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