had 2 pieces of chef boyardee a few days ago-i wanted to see what happens if i ate nonkosher food after having only kosher for 2 months-it wasnt an extreme effect but i think it made me feel more lethargic and dependent, rather than energized to do everything for myself for ex didnt care as much about recycling or saving every little piece of plastic-plus these things seemed dirtier/wanted them out of my room rather than to save them. but there’s also the factor that i forgot my vitamins for a couple of days. i felt i had to pray more after eating the nonkosher food (because of eating the nonkosher food) and praying helped to reduce the negative effects

have no doubt that i need kosher food, however jewish or unjewish i may end up being-more inclined toward hinduism at the moment. sick of all the psychic weirdness making me feel paranoid every time i think heavily about judaism-not giving up just wondering if maybe it’s a sign i’m either not jewish and i should give it up or maybe it’s really not safe