i believe with everything i have and know that the love you take is equal to the love you make, but sometimes i feel like i am giving less to others because my personal demands have become exponentially greater.

i have these personal barriers – financial issues, health issues, etc… and these effectively keep me from helping others or doing as much good as i believe i should or could reasonably do.

so how do i get past this? in order to help others, technically, i need to be at least functional myself. but working for the man, spending more money to eat right, and taking personal days sometimes make me feel as though i am fighting an uphill battle against myself, and in that lurch, not really helping anyone else at all.

i like to volunteer my time, to give without receiving, to love willingly…

how can i do this and not starve?

where does maintaining my existence, contributing to the economy, and keeping doctors in business reasonably end, and self-indulgence begin?