Life does not stop, it just keeps going and somehow I must too. But I have some of his things and so many good memories. I have his pictures which always either make me smile or cry.
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I love you, Dad!
Tomorrow is his funeral. It was delayed a while. I am afraid to go. I don’t want to see him him like that.
Yesterday I was in the grocery store and I saw one of his favorite meals. I just broke down crying. I can see why people try to connect with loved ones after they are gone. It is so hard to let go. There are so many regrets even if you thought you had prepared for the inevitable.
The funeral offered me some peace. When I looked at his face I knew it wasn’t him. He was no longer here with us. My sister said he looked so peaceful, but she’s a liar. The body in the casket looked nothing like my father. I knew then that he was free from his body. He is no longer suffering.
Merry Christams Dad!
I am reading a book called Grieving: A Beginner’s Guide by Jerusha McCormack. It is the best book I could ever read to get through all this. I recommend this to anyone.
Grieving my father’s death has made me: A more careful driver, a more kind and thoughtfull person (although I already was those things), and less likely to alow people to abuse my kind and giving personality.