96. Feeling unknown and your all alone, skin and bone, by the telephone, lift up the reciever and I’ll make you a believer.
97. Be a wanderer and a ramblin’ man.
98. Never let anyone near my eyebrows. It’s ok to stroke them like a James Bond Villian’s cat, but never attempt to go near with tweezers, clippers of scissors. It could end messy. They are too precious. I will loose all my powers if they are tampered with, much like Samson. Boy, that guy was strong with his big eyebrows.
99. Go clubbing with Polythene Pam. She’s so good looking but she looks like man…..hmmmmm …........Maybe just take her cinema then. It’s dark there.
100. Get back the bastards that hurt Willy. He can be my baby it don’t matter if he’s black and white. Whales can’t drive 4×4s nor hold uzi’s in their little flippers, so thats blatenly unfair and heartless. They should have know better to be quite frank. You just don’t fuck with whales, and certainly not any whale friends of mine.
101. Tell Madonna I don’t really see the problem with helping out the poor little child from the third world. She can buy them ipods. If she wasn’t there, they would have ipods made out of mud, and they are pretty crap. But just so she doesn’t get a big head, remind her of how shit her music is.
102. Just tell me hear some of that old rock and roll music.
103. It’s gotta be rock and roll music if you wanna dance with me.
104. Everybody’s gotta learn sometimes.
105. Don’t wear sandals, try an avoid the scandals.
106. Get dressed, get blessed and try to be a success.
107. Everything’s not lost.
108. Email Dionne Warrick and tell her after over forty years, if she still doesn’t have a clue where San Jose is, then not to fucking bother going there.
109. If God is DJ, he’d better not play any Kooks, Snow Patrol or James Blunt. If any of shit comes on, I’m off to the devil’s disco.
110. 3 is not the magic number, is just a number. Nowt special, so what’s everyone banging on about?
111. The great Chesey Hawks one most nobley said, ‘I am the one and only’. He may have been onto something methinks. He wasn’t an idiot after all.