My family loves me. I still cannot bring myself to tell them about the depression, about how this semester was the worst few months of my life, how I had times that i would have given up on life if I could have figured out how. Being home and seeing that I still cannot talk to them, it hurts so much more. I really wish that right now I could be in limbo, no feelings, nothing happening, no upcoming semester threatening to be as terrible as the last, no broken friendships to wait for them to heal. Its been only two days since getting home but i haven’t heard from my best friend after the fight. Maybe it won’t be until we see each other on New Years. That would likely crush me so I’ll have more faith in her.
Another thing with telling my family is that my nonno is very sick and everyone is just preparing and waiting. He is in such good spirits too. He would be so disappointed in the granddaughter of his who would give up so easily.