“It seems after marriage people just “let themselves go”, and you have to put up with them.”

Well, the way I see it is when you marry someone you love them unconditionally (if you don’t then you shouldn’t marry them in the first place). So it’s not that you have to put up with them, it’s that putting on weight, or loosing hair, or getting some wrinkles, don’t matter as you get older together. A marraige should be strong enough that you can see the person inside past those superficial things. That the life you have built together, the moments you have experienced together (good & bad), are more important than one (or both of you) having put on some weight or gotten a little grey hair.

My reasons to get married were simple. He had become my best friend, and I wanted to spend every day with him, for the rest of my life. He makes my life richer and he cherishes me as much as I do him. And although I had become content with my life as a 30-something single woman, after getting to know him I realized that as content as I was, content was not enough. I wanted to continue to feel the way I felt when I was with him.

You would probably say something like “but why marry? why not just live together? why did you feel the need to make it official? it’s just a piece of paper.” To me getting married (going through a ceremony, signing a marraige certificate, taking his name, making it official) was important to me because it was how I wanted to “shout to the world” that this was the man I chose, that this is the man who I loved so much that I wanted to join my life with his (lock, stock, barrel & name) for the rest of my life.

Do you mind telling me how old you are? Everyone is different, and everyone expresses their love in different ways. But committing to someone means more than just being in love and being willing to live with someone. It means that the person that you love has the most cherished place in your heart. That everyday you ask yourself “what can I do today to make his day better? To make him feel good? or To let him know that I appreciate him”. Of course, that person should have the same feelings for you.

As for people just letting themselves go after marriage, the truth of the matter is, that as we get older, whether you’re married or not, it gets harder to keep ourselves up. It’s not that people let themselves go, it’s that people just change with age. Everyone does, and you probably will too. I do think that each person should do what they can to keep themselves looking as good as possible for the other. I’m not talking about unnecessary radical procedures, but just taking care of ourselves and respecting ourselves. In doing this, we also show respect for our partner. But, if you have the love that one should have when they marry, you won’t even really notice those changes. Because when you look at that person you’re seeing the same person you married years ago, and you’re seeing their character, their heart, their love for you.

I know that sounds cliche or cheesy, but ask anyone who has been lucky enough to grow old with their loved one, and they’ll tell you it’s true. I know it will be for us!