When I think about the things I’ve done in the past I’ve always had things come so easily to me. I think within this I’ve also gathered a bit of the “lonewolf” syndrome. I tend to go through life with my preconceived notions of yesteryears. This was great in high school, but I am 23 now. My conjured up scriptures from the church of ME aren’t so useful these days. I sometimes think, I’m just old and set in my ways. More often than not I miss the most important points in this so called “prime of my life”. Slowly, I fall behind, watching those I’d never dreamed pass me. The awakening is so real, stunted by my own pride my growth as a human being screeches to a halt. The greatest advice ever given to open thinkers was, question everything. The wisest piece of knowledge obtained only recently; question everything, including yourself. Realizing you’re not God; Priceless… Nietzsche said it best: “If there was a God, I couldn’t believe I am not him”.
The fine line between bravery and stupidity defined, narcissism is self loathing not a pedestal. This was really hard for me to grasp, I am sure some would stop to think man this guys a real dummy. I am all the sudden starting to creep off my throne. I knew that there’s always someone bigger and better, didn’t realize that applied to me too. It’s really that simple, I am great at so many things. I was a jock, a nerd, a ladies man, a introvert, a poet, a song writer and perhaps even at one time or another an artiest. Things have truly come far to easily for me. I guess getting the general idea that I am better than others out of my head would do me some great. I say that because there’s a difference between goodness and greatness! I don’t think an all encompassing tragic event in my life would alter my narcissism. Sadly, you see its quite odd. So easy in the eyes of many friends, family, elders, teachers, peers to I’d become “numero uno” <-[number one]. The sad reality of it is; now I’m all alone. I suppose that’s what’s really brought me to blogging. You see, I don’t think that I’ve ever tried at anything. Yes, yes… Lets realize I am the perfect example of the tortoise and the rabbit. I now see all my peers passing me up while I’ve for so long basked in my awesomeness with my new found fair-weather friends that are long gone. So I’m left with only this, a very sad and lonely experience. The zenith of my narcissism has left me with only me, and getting to know me is more than I’d ever bargained for. The crown of King Ca Ca weighs me down with the weight of the universe. The price paid all to great and the lesson learned more than the value of Bill Gates fortune. The bleak and most valuable realities of life are all to abundant, and in realizing what’s truly important: Means I was never number one. I’d become someone that knows the price of everything but the value of nothing!