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spend more time with my husband (read all 4 entries…)
He's my very best friend, and a wonderful man...

We’ve been married four years, and while our love has not diminished, I find that we are both rather bored with one another. We have common interests, goals and values, but not necessarily common activities, and we seem to spend our time at home “apart” even though we are both here. I want to find ways to bring us closer together, and rediscover the person I fell in love with.

I’m considering a “date night” or even just a “date hour.” I also bought him a stocking stuffer that I hope will help. it is the “If: Questions for the Game of Life” book. I hope it will jumpstart our conversations.



Comments:

Four Years is Wonderful! \(^-^)/

Congratulations! =)

Thank you for stopping by and cheering me, and leaving such a wonderful comment! It makes me feel better to know that I am not alone in this… I sat down and read your entry on this goal and just thought to myself, “Wow… it’s not just me.” I needed to know this, thank you… and I’m sorry that you are going through this, it is such a difficult time in a marriage when this happens. However it’s wonderful that you have recognized it before anything got worse. I feel that this is a crucial key in making it last, when both people realize that something isn’t right...

It is not that there is any less love (otherwise the relationship would not be worth sticking around for), and it’s not that one or the other is doing something wrong per se (otherwise they’d be history) ... It is just that one day you look at things and realize that it’s time to put in the extra effort.

All marriages go through this, I think, and it’s so nice to meet someone who believes in fighting for that extra push in the right direction, instead of either walking away or saying, “Oh well” and just leaving things as-is. Mediocrity and apathy are never good things, especially in a marriage!

I can completely relate to your statement: ‘...we seem to spend our time at home “apart” even though we are both here.’ This is precisely what I am working on, but it’s so hard to fit it in between everything else that needs to be done. I’m not giving up, though, and I think that maybe it’s changing. It is important to remember that couples do not drift apart overnight, and therefore it takes time to mend the rift.

It is so important to find that common something to do together… A time where it’s just the two of you, even if it is sharing an ice cream while sitting on your sofa and just talking. The book you picked up is a great one, and whatever you do, don’t let him get away with any one-word/one-line answers (you either!), otherwise the book will soon become a very nice coaster. ;)

One thing I suggest playing, it’s a game called Scruples. =) My husband and I learned a lot about eachother from that game. You have to answer questions that you might never think of discussing, and I loved it (so did my husband, I think, once he got past how little he knew about the funny little woman he married! ;P ::lol::). It’s astounding how much we think we know about our spouses, and yet there are many quetions that when asked turn up a completely different answer than the one expected! This is a wonderful thing though… it leaves so much to learn about the person we are with.

Thank you again for dropping by and commenting, I seriously needed to hear from someone who can relate, and who agrees that it’s difficult sometimes, but worth it all of the time. =)

::hugs::
Fereshteh

You are Welcome!

I know lots of people go through this, and sometimes it seems minor, but it’s not!

And that’s why we’re all here on 43things…to support each other and learn that we aren’t alone.

Good luck to you with this goal, and keep us posted!


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