I’ve made a little progress on this, but there is more to be made.

The lack of peace that I have with my past is a lack of peace that existed in the past – but a life of perfect peace would be one with no past. It is tension that makes memories vivid and with contrast – even if it is the tension between peace and non-peace.

My past is gone, but the memories of the tension within it provide tension, making me not be at peace with it.

When I am at peace with it, I will become a stranger to who I was then. Should I really become at peace with my past? This will prevent me from “knowing myself” or at least from knowing who I was – or at least from feeling who I was.