Couple of quick things then I will go into responding to your query. Thank you for feeling that I am a person with some kind of intelligence. I myself know how rare they are so I really appreciate this wonderful compliment. Second, “i’m not taking the mick” is a phrase I am unfamiliar with, could you attempt to “americanize” it for me? Now, on to the question at hand.
Is romantic love worth it? Well, we have issues to deal with before we address that question directly. Is it worth… what? I know that in general you mean the all encompassing “it,” but can you make this it specific? Is it worth the time, the money, the patience, the responsibility, the possible heartache, the possible joy? I cannot tell you if it is worth it to you. That is something everyone has to answer for themselves. But I will do what I can to help you find that answer. So. lets see if you and I can find this answer together. As you can probably see, I’m predicting for myself that is will be a long journey. And even this may not be sufficient. In that case feel free to message me your emails or IMs and we can continue it there. But I will try to do what I can in this format first.
Do you feel that romantic love is the end all be all of human existance? If so, to what end? What, to you, is the purpose of falling in love? Why do you want to fall in love? (For future reference, “just because”, “I don’t know” and “because its what you’re supposed to do” are all unacceptable answers) now, back to it, why do you want to fall in love? Lets look into the future, you’re 90. You’ve lived your ideal life. What was it? What did you do with your 90 years? How are you going to be remembered? Who is going to remember you? How long will you be remembered? Why are you going to be remembered? What had been the greatest accomplishment of your life? I did this with a friend of mine who wants to go into bioengineering, but also recently had a break up. When I asked her the accomplishment question she said her research in bioengineering. Then before I could respond she said. “I was supposed to say my kids wasn’t I?” because she had said she would be married and have 4 children by 90. I told her, “No, there is no supposed to answer. Not of you’re really being honest with yourself.” Basically I am wanting you to think about you life in a big picture kind of way. Are you rememberd as the inovator of something, a pioneer in the evolution of human understanding? Or are you simply mother? Grandmother? Great grandmother? Now please please please, do NOT think that I am saying raising a family is something that is to be looked down upon or thought to be unimportant. Truly, if you can raise a family properly to be wonderful human beings that is an accomplishment to be proud of. All of this may seem off topic, but really its all asking your question… Is romantic love worth it? What do you want your life to be? Do you want it to focus on your romantic relationship with someone or do you want it to be something in and of itself. Ok. Moving on. I’m going to presume, that even if you want your life to be recognized for your career accomplishments that your question still burns within you. Is Romantic love worth it? That question is difficult to answer, so lets look at a rephrasal. (spelling? lol, and I’m an english major!) What is Romantic love worth? Or. What are you willing to give up or sacrifice for romantic love? Are you willing to lose some friends to be with the one you love? Are you willing to not see some family members for it? Are you willing to move to a new place for it? Are you willing to give up your future to be a part of someone elses? Are you willing to take someone elses future from them to get it? I know some people will say that those are not sacrifices but comprimises which are to be expected in relationships. Comprimises are sacrifices with a cuter outfit. So you are free to choose either of the words. Now you also said you were scared, and that you feel jaded in regard to the state of the world today and the number of brreak-ups. Just my smartass comment for this particular reply. The state of the world has bigger problems than breakups. In my opinion breakups are actually a good thing. For several reasons. You learn about what can end a relationship, you learn that you can have a relationship that ends and keep going. Not to mention all the things you learn during the relationship. You learn about yourself. You learn about the things you like in a person you are romantic with versus things you don’t like. So, breakups… NOT among the worlds problems. If you want some global problems to worry about. War, Famine, Global Warming, Over-Population, Genocide… and many others. If Britney and Whatshisface can’t make it work, the world will go on. Ok. enough smartass comments, back to the last bit of your post. What, precisely, are you scared of? Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? If so. I promise you, it will mend. You may accumulate some battle scars, but they serve you if you let them. Most people make the mistake of letting their past heartbreaks postpone or prevent their present happiness. Never be afraid to get heartbroken.If you are afraid of something else, specify for me and I will address it to the best of my ability. I feel as though I have left something out. (i know i know doesn’t seem possible) Like i said if you have further questions you can message me your emails and IMs and I can address them there or we can continue here. I hope that in this mess you found soemthing useful. If so, let me know.
