During the weekend where we were bawling about making our dreams come true, Waya said “Joe can start her ballet company…” And I bluthered and said, “I don’t think I wanna do that anymore.”

Because it’s hard. Okay, forget about how the major ballet companies are falling apart at the seams at this time (too bad for my thesis…) because I was basically planning on getting a small company together at first, coordinating with different NGOs and GOs, well in my case the Las Pinas local municipal govt, into having nice free outdoor performances. You know, they sponsor the venue and help with advertising, we deliver the goods. I have repertoire all planned and letters in my head that have yet to be drafted. So it may be the money, but right now it’s not worrying about where I’m going to get money to fund my company that worries me.

As some of you may know, I have my own school – well, my father’s but I think of it more as a family thing, also I’m the principal teacher there anyway, so I can say it’s mine. The idea to run this company obviously came from this need of mine to still be able to dance, but it was encouraged when I looked at my students and thought, “Hey, this could work…”

Now this is the problem: students are sooooo hard to depend on. They have to study for an exam so they will be absent. They have to visit their lola in the province, so they will be absent. Their mom decided, “No ballet for you today,” so they will be absent. They got sick for two weeks, so they were absent for two weeks. It’s a wonder how I get any of the recital dances done.

So if I originally imagined I had dancers for my company, well, I’m mistaken. Maybe, I have to set my sights lower, and form a smaller company than I intended. Just me and my siblings. But who are we, Twyla Tharp?

We shall see.