You, too, can stop cursing if you follow these simple steps:

1. If you feel the urge to curse, imagine your dear, dear, saintly grandma standing within earshot of you.

2. If the grandma image doesnt help, think of another person (say your pastor or other religious figure) standing there instead.

3. Imagine if you will that every curse word you say, will shorten your lifespan by 3 years. (For some of you, you’d already be dead by now).

4. Create a ‘Curse Purse’. Place a dollar bill in a jar for every curse word said (or thought). This time next year, you could possibly be on your way to an early retirement.

5. Last, but not least, make up new words. I work with little kids and I would hate to curse in front of one of those munchkins. So I’ve come up with some of my own words (if the mood should strike me). For example, a big heavy book drops on my foot- I would respond “OH Fiken Furgen”!! Instead of…well, you know. I’ve also used “oh shubby wubby”, “gosh-darn-it-to-heck”, “dangle-doo” and other strange verbage. Hope that helps!